Description: this one is about how my mom makes me fell...she started a second job and since then shes never here and when she is she pushes me down...not literally but mentally
move -------------------------------------------
move along
walk away
theirs not much more to say
I said hello
You said goodbye
you left me here to cry
cry for you
cry for me
cry for what wasent ment to be
let me go
let me be
only you can see what is left of me
you tore me apart
you pushed me down
you bruied me deep in the ground
so just move along
walk away
theirs not much more to say
before i start for this one i would like to adress the fact that the previous comment is unnecessary. spelling and typing are not the same. the best speller can spell many words wrong without intention when using a keyboard. i wouldn't be surprised if you found a few in my typing.
okay to business.
this poem and "bleed" are very similar in where they originate. it seems your mother is an instigator of pain and suffering. this cannot be allowed. any kind abuse is untolerable and if it gets out of hand i suggest you get away from her.
however, in your description you stated that, and i quote, "she started a second job and since then shes never here" i don't know your family situation, i don't know if it's just you and your mom or if anyone else is there, but based on what i can gather it 's just you and your mom, right? if i'm wrong on this please tell me because it will affect what i am about to say.
your mother starting a second job may be for you. she wants to support you i hope. i know a woman who has three teenagers and works from the time they get out of school til much past dark and she suffers for not being able to be with her kids so much but she works the job to support them. please think that over. it's for you(at least i hope it is).
the mental abuse is another thing, and you shouldnt have to suffer that.
so stay safe my friend. i hope things go well for you.
This piece touched me. Yes, my parents can be a [censored] too. But most people and parents don't understand. I would rather be abused and punched and kicked. I'd rather take the physical beating instead of the mental thrashing. It hurts more to be told your a failure, than to be stricken in the back for being a failure. Just a thought. If you need someone to listen. I will understand. Write on.
No there aint much more to say,you got that right.I know you may not wanna hear it, but let me give you some constructive critisism.After all that's the whole point of this website right? Well, one of the points anyway.Your poetry has potential but you have to learn to spell.No-one will take your work seriously if you can't spell even basic words like< wasn't> and <meant> I can't believe you wouldn't know how to spell these words-maybe you can't be bothered or think it's not important but I'm telling you now it's an instant turnoff.Get that right and the poetry will take care of itself. Cheers A.C
Submission Name: move
