Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Obligationsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Venting
    Total Views: 759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 779



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsObligationsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To this family I live with I have these responsibilities
    To the full time job I bust my ass for
    I have committed myself to their endless chores
    But as for society...screw them
    SCREW SOCIETY!
    Fashion is only a put down to the majority of us
    Popularity remains in high school
    Although we simply move our way up
    Fighting one another over higher ranking potions in the working field
    Our flaws are pointed out in every possible way
    For society has no hart
    And we fall victim to its hate
    Only critizing one another
    For our wrongs
    Rather than to praise one another for our "rights"
    We're all equally guilty...
    But we are simply victims...to its hate




    Submitted on 2006-08-31 15:56:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Damn Jackie, it's really hard to bash a well written poem, I couldn't agree more with what you say, I would have to say this is a very good piece. it's going in my favorites, Keep writing.

    Your Friend, Dean
    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by Survivor_Dean | [ Reply to This ]
      Fantastic and so true, thanks for telling it how it is and how much society as a whole sucks balls.
    I like the whole poem every line.
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah! or no...i dunno, i think society sucks, but i refuse to bash a perfectly good piece just for the sake of bashing...that would be wrong...
    keep writing, i cant wait to read more!
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      erm........i cant bash this. its written so well and i agree with everything you said.
    we seem to be drowning in obligations, but does ANYONE stop to say 'hey, thanks, good job'? no, coz they're busy pushing you out the way to get to the top first. i totally agree. and very well said.

    But we are simply victims...to its hate

    that rounds it up. in fact that one line kinda says it all.
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      You must be unappricated at your household.
    If anything the wife of the house should be treated with respect.
    Now i don't know whats going on in the house you live in.
    But obviously, its something wrong.
    But maybe i'm wrong.
    Just a thought.....
    A liked the venting type poem, mixed in with a little political satire.
    The satire didn't have as much depth.
    But the Screw Society part rocked.
    Write on.
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, i was suppose to bash this piece...............................ummmmmmmm.
    Well it sucks.
    joking.
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    116488

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry