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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Riverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Priestess
    ASL Info:    21/female/usa
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 49/118/51
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 561



    Description:
       Death


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Riverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The water looks so carefree as it sways through the river. So swift the rocks must be, to catch a ride on it to the ocean. The breeze blows through my hair; no distractions, no responsibilities. In this moment I am like the river. Free and wild. Its unexplainable how God's creations change me. I close my eyes and listen; to the trees, to the wind, to the river. I look up and there he is, my angel. He has come to take me home, I smile as he takes my hand. No more worries, no more sorrows. I am with one destination, like the river, I am going home.




    Submitted on 2006-08-31 20:13:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this. very nice descriptions of the river.
    but i think it would have a more fluent flow to it if u spaced it out more, instead of having it all in one paragraph like this.
    i would try it like this -

    The water looks so carefree as it sways through the river.
    So swift the rocks must be, to catch a ride on it to the ocean.
    The breeze blows through my hair; no distractions, no responsibilities.
    In this moment I am like the river.
    Free and wild.
    Its unexplainable how God's creations change me.
    I close my eyes and listen;
    to the trees, to the wind, to the river.
    I look up and there he is, my angel.
    He has come to take me home,
    I smile as he takes my hand.
    No more worries, no more sorrows.
    I am with one destination, like the river,
    I am going home.

    it's only a suggestion. but i feel it flows better.
    beautiful write tho,
    whirl**
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]


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