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Between a Rock and a Hard Place


Author: rememberplaydoh
Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 78 /103 /60
Words: 138
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1020
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1076



Description:




Between a Rock and a Hard Place



Between a rock and a hard place,
on the edge of a decision,
not sure what I'm doing...
but, I'm doing it wrong.
Knowing what is inside,
or not, I'm so confused.
Needing straight'ning out,
wishing to tell the truth.

Afraid of the results
and the actions, in themselves.
But to stay here is suicide
I must do something else.

Mind is churning,
burning,
turning.
Wake me up
I don't like this dream!
All is wrong,
thoroughly,
entirely.
Is there any way it could change?

Rock and hard place...
Stay or go?
Conceal, reveal?
Twisting, turning
lost.

Help me!
Save me!
Kill me or take me!
It's not really murder
if I'm already dead.

Inside dying,
screaming,
lying,
telling myself
"I can go on this way..."
I can't.
But can I stand still?




Submitted on 2006-08-31 22:51:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I'm glad I found this. Reading it is like peeling the veil of time back and finding a place I was living in an eternity ago, for an eternity, and seeing it from the outside-looking-in. Forsaken has it completely wrong though... the repeat at the end signifies the pattern, the circles, the repeating cycles of knowing something is wrong, of having the answer of "leave!" but oh god, you don't want to... You can't. There is too much invested, too much to lose, equal to life itself, and that scale just creaks slightly back as the plates almost balance... Going is every bit as bad as staying, and you wish someone would just put a gun to your head for you, make the decision for you, because you know that either way, it's going to kill you. If you don't die physically from staying, then you're going to pray you're dead for years afterwards because the pain is so total that you're already dead inside.... it wouldn't even be murder to just go ahead and do it, as you superbly described it, because you're already dead. Is it really bad to kill a walking corpse? Would that really be even called a "murder"?

I can't say it gets better, but as with everything, there are good and bad times when the scales still can't tip either way. I hope you find that it doesn't balance that way forever, and the tipping goes the good way.
| Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  Help me!
Save me!
Kill me or take me!
It's not really murder
if I'm already dead.

Wow, those lines caught me the longest. You know, when you are readong something and yours eyes stop on a sentence or in this case a stanza? The last line "... I'm already dead." sent chills up my spine. At first I shrugged it off, thinking it was just because I am sitting infront of the cooler, then I remembered that I am wearing a tank top, a T-shirt, and a sweatshirt. So, it had to be the poem. It wasn't that powerful to me until those lines, then it all struck me at once. I sat back and was...awed. A subtle hurt creeps up on ya. Gnawing away until you have nothing left. You know what it is doing to you, and yet you stay and let it hurt you. But why?

Why.

A question too often asked and too often left unanswered.

Bravo, dear, bravo....I hate that you hurt, but hey, at least you can write about it. Some people don't even have that. Keep that pretty little chin up and keep goin' like I know you can.

Bon
| Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
  A vivid portrayal of what's in the psyche of someone who is at "wits end."
The wording of the poem lets it be known that someone needs a quick chat with a friend.
| Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  *sits for a few moments, lost in thought before standing, placing his finger to his chin and opening his mouth, attempting to speak, the words escaping him, he sits, plunging deeper into thought*

Alright, I've got it..

First and foremost, very well written, and not too lengthy either. As per the usual with you, not a single error, grammatical, punctuation, spelling or otherwise. Well done. The flow is nice, and the imagry is great as well.

Moving right along to my customary critique..

"Between a rock and a hard place,
on the edge of a decision,
not sure what I'm doing...
but, I'm doing it wrong.
Knowing what is inside,
or not, I'm so confused.
Needing straight'ning out,
wishing to tell the truth."

As is the case with most personal experiences, I am sure most everyone has been in this position before, literally stuck between a rock, and a hard place. Teetering on a singular decison, unsire of what is right, and what is wrong, or maybe if what is right, is indeed wrong. It's all so confusing. Knowing what you're feeling inside, but unsure of how to express it, or even if you should, just knowing that you THINK you should, even if it makes matters worse.

"Afraid of the results
and the actions, in themselves.
But to stay here is suicide
I must do something else"

*nods* Yep, been here too, still struggling with the same decison, now knowing that staying still will only be the death of you.

"Mind is churning,
burning,
turning.
Wake me up
I don't like this dream!
All is wrong,
thoroughly,
entirely.
Is there any way it could change?"

I like the way this particular stanza is constructed, I like to see things kept short and simple (though I cannot seem to do the same in my own work) One word descriptions for some reason are always a big plus with me. Knowing how and when to use such a vocabulary is also a definate plus with me. Kudos on this stanza, it is my favorite.

"Help me!
Save me!
Kill me or take me!
It's not really murder
if I'm already dead."

As with Bonnie, the words in this stanza stuck out to me as well, and again, as with her, the final line, struck a hugely familiar chord. I cannot find words to describe how this stanza makes me feel, so I will simply move on with a heartfelt "Well done"

"Inside dying,
trying,
lying
and telling myself
I can go on this way.
I can't.
But can I stand still?"

This stanza, ultimately, I felt was repetative, expressing the same as was said in previous stanzas, though, making a nice ending. In my personal opinion, I would remove this one, and end on the before stanza.

Altogether, a very well written piece, vividly described and well thought out. Good work, and keep on writing.
| Posted on 2006-09-04 00:00:00 | by The Forsaken | [ Reply to This ]


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