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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: South Poledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cherub Winter
    ASL Info:    21/m/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.31 - 17/20/11
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 1104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1160



    Description:
       I once had a bad problem


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSouth Poledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Trudging through the mud of the south pole
    Poisoning the mind to ease the soul
    Falling down further into the blackest hole
    It's so much easier to lie down and accept
    Than to climb out and realize the promise I kept.

    Disgusted, I bring myself only to harm
    Reminded constantly by a branded forearm
    I hear them calling to me from track to train
    They are hungry again, distilled in my vein

    Why do i keep doing this to myself?
    The price is greater than what they tell me
    It's so controlling and persistant, I do what it tells me to
    So I keep sticking myself, because I know it is the closest to heaven I will ever be

    I am dying to be skagging
    I am Skagging to be dragging
    The light of life, diminishing within
    With a lost perception of faith, hope, and sin

    Its been 2 months now since I've been down that road
    Their voices have faded, I think I've rid of them
    A much cleaner perception of the things i loathe
    Cast out and defeated, I'm proud I can earn my own way now.




    Submitted on 2006-09-01 15:06:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Songwriter? nice. Well I kinda know how u feel,when someone says.."its needs alot of work," or "i dont feel what you're trying to say", you tend to feel like maybe you shouldn't be doing this... but I'v come a long way to not keep going(& growing). So keep on writing,its always interesting to see ppl grow as poets...

    [My works are feelings & emotions for everyday
    the things i see and do in each and every way
    i write them down & explain it carefully to you
    so that u can feel the things dat i go through..]

    See? i eat, sleep and breathe it...
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by pixie_007 | [ Reply to This ]
      this entry, to me, is very uplifting and inspiring. it makes me feel all warm inside knowing you found faith in yourself to get out of hell :) it seems like you/the narrator is very optimistic, too.

    the language is great. i like the words, the descriptiveness of it all. only thing though, the tenses of the verbs - at some points it sounds like you're still fighting the fight, at others it sounds like just memories from long ago.

    great job overall. keep it up!

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by GorgeousCorpse | [ Reply to This ]


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