I miss you so much my heart starts to die
so much i just want to sit and cry
i miss you so much that my head starts to ache
so much i can feel my life start to break
I need you so much, my chest is so cold
so much that i just want you to hold
I need you so much, my face is tear stained
so much that all my energy is drained
I love you so much my heart skips a beat
so much that when you're gone I am incomplete
I love you so much, without you I'd be dead
so much that i can't get you out of my head
So as you can see without you i am nothing
warmth and closeness to me you bring
A sence of usefullness with you I feel
My Dear, this love for you, is real
| its a tad, oraginal with the ryming every sentence, but thats okay, its still great. i can tell you really put alot into it. but, t just seems to lack feeling somhow. i wish i knew tht way i could help you cause i hate to leave you at a dry spot. but, evn i write ryms too, and they are pretty bad. this is good. so dont worry, it still ears talent||| Posted on 2009-07-25 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ] || This is a beautiful piece of writing. Well done. It shows a lot of deep emotion, and it can easily relate to many people. Writing things that people can relate to is always effective. Great job! This is awesome.|
|| Posted on 2007-01-11 00:00:00 | by Kamerin Brown | [ Reply to This ] || wow this is ar really good piece it really shows how you long for that one person...and it reminds me of denny...so i thikn its a really good write.||| Posted on 2006-12-15 00:00:00 | by panzyrocker | [ Reply to This ] || wow i love it! great job keep it up! <3 Britaney||| Posted on 2006-11-18 00:00:00 | by justkillme08 | [ Reply to This ] || The longing and desperation and love all come through very clearly.|
I think my favorite line is, "I need you so much, my chest is so cold"
I don't know why... It just stuck out for some reason.
Hmm.. I dont know why I never read this before. Where the hell have I been?
|| Posted on 2006-10-09 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ] || Wow this is a really sweet and awsome poem your sentamental touch is fely by the way that you describe your love for this person and how your love for this person makes you feel inside and how sometimes you die a little inside.Great stuff.|
|| Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ] || Not bad... a bit on the cliché side but over all not bad. The feeling is there and it makes sense... good grammar and structure. Ut you need to open your mind with this one a little farther. Come outside of the simple words and over used phrases such as "my heart starts to die". I know your trying to give it a bit of rythm but that isn't always needed, so in a case like this you could use something a little more descriptive and thoughtful. I'm not trying to be mean or anything...just a thought, and like I said..over all it was good. Keep it up.||| Posted on 2006-10-01 00:00:00 | by Restless_Heart | [ Reply to This ] |