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Author: Jingles
ASL Info:    19.m.canada
Elite Ratio:    2.08 - 18 /60 /36
Words: 142
Class/Type: Lyrics /Sorry
Total Views: 1393
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 968


It's not my best work but it's a song.I want opinions.Good and Bad.


Love fled as my senses abandoned me
Mistakes unforgiven,as pain runs through my veins
Everything that was said, now fades away
Regret drips off my lips as these words are spoken.

And angered emotion is a breeding ground
For regrets and wrong doings
As long as resolution takes it's toll
Nothing can harm,nothing seperates us.

The past can be our greatest enemy
If we deafen ourselves to the signs of reality
As long as we listen,the past can teach us.

Don't be blinded by the rage.
Don't be deafened by the hate.
Embrace the love she's offered.
And don't give into the limitations set before you.

Love has fled as my senses abandon me
Mistakes unforgiven,as pain runs through my veins
Everything that was said,now fades away
Regret drips off my lips as these woords are spoken.

Submitted on 2006-09-02 20:21:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  It's not very catchy, is it? I personally think that the greatest songs are the catchiest (*hums "Hey Jude" by the Beatles*), but if you're going for that obscure Theatre of Tragedy/Opus Relinque/The Kissing Comfits sort...

Written lyrics don't seem as good without the music, so that may be what seems so wrong with this song to me. Now, I'm not saying it's bad - but I do agree with you. It isn't your best work (and I haven't even seen your best yet).

On the bright side, at least you didn't write it short hand!

Johhny Come Lately.
| Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by Lacrimosa | [ Reply to This ]
  mm i like this a lot. but i'm wondering if covalence is the word you're looking for.. the number of pairs of electrons an atom can share? i don't really see how it fits in the poem. i really liked the line that goes

Regret drips off my lips as these words are spoken.

i like this because i like to use imagery like this myself. this is a great write. i'm guessing you might have chosen covalence because it's about pairs and you're talking about a girl who you were a pair with. i really like this because i can relate to it so well. especially today. my ex boyfriend and i talked for the first time in months today and made up... we're friends now. but yeah we both said a lot of things we regretted and i know we both regretted them the second they came out our mouths... but we were so mad at eachother about it that we wouldn't apologize and it was just a big mess.

like i said i can relate to this a lot... i'm not sure if i'm interpretting it correctly but that's what i got out of it. that this is about a relationship that turned sour because of words you said you regretted later. and the whole line about the past being the enemy is so true... my past haunts me in almost every relationship i'm in because my past relationships with guys kind of sucked.

but wow yeah this is a great write keep it up.
| Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]
  this is one of those poems you have to read more then once to grasp all the meanings within it. it offers the answers to the pain the writer is experiencing, but cannot embrace.
i would not say however it creates a lot of imagery. more like it envokes deep thought. i like the poem myself, but it will probly lose some readers because they have to read it more then once.
| Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by sinjen | [ Reply to This ]

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