Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waitingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Spiderwebb123
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 22/26/12
    Words: 226
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1007
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1392



    Description:
       Inspired by a conversation with my best guy friend, who just moved to another city. It pretty much speaks for itself....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaitingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit here waiting.
    Waiting, simply waiting.
    It feels as though
    I have always been waiting.
    Maybe I'm waiting for you.

    It seems like I've known you forever,
    but it's only been four years.
    I still remember the day we met.
    But right now all it brings is tears.

    We are friends,
    we always will be.
    You have and always will
    be very close to me.

    Yet we've always been, so very far apart.
    First it was me, that lived far away.
    Now it is you leaving,
    and I am the one to stay.

    You say you won't forget me,
    and maybe another time,
    You say that you don't
    even want to try.

    I know that I should let you go,
    and save it for a while.
    My head says "ok"
    but my heart screams "NO!!!"

    I don't know how to take this!
    I've never felt this way!
    You probably think that I
    am very young and naive.

    A part of me wants to hate you
    for leaving me right now.
    But I know you've made a good decision,
    so I make this solomn vow:

    When you are ready,
    and if we are both alone,
    I will still be waiting,
    ready to jump at the chance.




    Submitted on 2006-09-03 21:20:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is a pretty good poem but there are a lot of repeated words.

    It sounds like you guys are really really good friends. In this poem, you discribe how much you care and will miss him. I think you did a good job with that. And in the end, you really hope you will see each other again.

    I guess I don't have a friend like that because all the times I moved, I was really small so I probably can't even remember. But, it sounds really hard leaving the ones you care about.

    Keep on writing,
    ~*~ Lisa ~*~
    | Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like me and a guy friend of mine, besides that im the one far away, they do say good things come to those who wait and ive come to beleive it. even though "they" are often liers. anyways your writing is really good. its sad but it has the shadow of hope behind it. and the sensarity is beautiful.

    keep on the keeping on.

    | Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    116754

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry