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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: More Like Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BCute
    ASL Info:    23/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 1295/1417/363
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Vampire
    Total Views: 122
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1202



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMore Like Medots
    -------------------------------------------




    Sitting in the middle of a field,
    Late at night, lying on my back.
    Looking up at a clouded moon,
    Goosebumps covering arms.

    Early morning actually is more like it,
    And, the lights go off with a bang.
    I sit and sigh finally plunged,
    Straight into darkness.

    Everyone else fades away round me,
    I breathe in, out, and feel at home.
    The clouds kiss the moon eerily,
    Then I start to glance around.

    Through a mist covering the ground,
    Like only an early morn can produce,
    I see shadowy figures walking around,
    And, open my eyes wider at seeming ghosts.

    Feeling no fear- just relishing,
    Resting, at ease, in the solitude.
    Surrounded by those, who, for now,
    Are a little more like me.

    Loving to bathe in the dark,
    Seeking out the darker, poetic side of things,
    Worshipping a dark moon in pitch black,
    And, becoming a little child of the dark themselves.




    Submitted on 2006-09-04 13:37:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm going to go out on branch on this one and say this is pure magic. I love the way this is writen!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      *laughs* Ron totally missed the point!

    Alright, to counter that non-sensical comment...that totally twisted your poem to serve its own purposes....I will write one of my own.

    This is a beautiful piece, the imagery is wonderful and it flows marvillously. I can just picture the night...dark and deep, the mist...the shadowy forms. Wonderful, wonderful. The dark is an amazing thing.

    Although most choose to characterize it as frightening and sinister you decided to make it calming and comforting....and you did it well.

    The only thing I might change is the very last word.... the line reads:

    "And, becoming a little child of the dark themselves."

    This is a grammatical error. You have the singular article "a" and the plural reflexive "themselves." The way to fix it would be to change "themselves" to "myself." The product would be "And, becoming a little child of the dark myself."

    Aside from that one mistake...I'd have to say this is another magnificent poem! I think I shall add you to my stalk list, and this one to my favorites.

    ~Doh
    | Posted on 2006-09-04 00:00:00 | by rememberplaydoh | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really deep
    I believe you are explaining how the dark or negativity seems to control your thoughts at times and you only feel comfortable when things are not going so good because that is what you have become used to in life
    This is truly sad
    I would say to look carefully at the situation and find the Positive to the negative and use that positive to carry you forward into happiness
    I know it is possible because it is exactly what worked for me
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-09-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn wish i read this way before they did. for what can i say that hasnt already been said? you have an amazing talent for allowing your readers to see beyound the words to the world you created for us to see.

    you have a way with your words that wrap around our hearts and even at the ending lines refuses to let go. the point of the poem may be poundered by many may be thought out by millions but we may come up with a new idea and take from what you intended at first. so i will not think to deeply on this...well at least not today.

    i hate taking things at face value but everything has already been said and i do not wish to repeat myself. only i will tell you that you are a new favorite of mine and i am proud to have read your work. thank you so much for allowing me to read your amazing writtings.

    all the love
    nikki

    *kisses*
    | Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this poem a lot. I loved how you painted the scene for the reader... I could picture it so vividly that I almost *felt* it. Definitely an enjoyable read. I think this one is gonna be added to my faves & you're now on my stalk list :) Good work.

    <3 Jess
    | Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by Lil J | [ Reply to This ]


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