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Death


Author: DrewDilla
ASL Info:    25/M/Chicago
Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 131 /196 /51
Words: 127
Class/Type: Lyrics /Serious
Total Views: 1456
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 723



Description:


this just me explanin some of my thoughts.


Death



Every day I think of death
Maybe go OD off some Meth
I’m not sure if u can off that
So my head I cracked with a bat
I don’t want any painful way out
So I’ll use a gun but that I doubt
That it will be a painless way
Maybe at first I’ll smoke a jay
And forget about committing suicide
By taking a very long ride
To go meet this one girl
Maybe all I need is a twirl
To nock these thoughts loose
And come to a known truce
That I’m built different
Like a tank is what I meant
Cause no bone was broke
And this is not a joke
All my damage is mental
Ya but the hit wasn’t gentle




Submitted on 2006-09-05 12:38:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  wow, i remember when i wrote like this
its got a simple word flow, if thats what i'm trying to say, i'm not sure, but i really do like this
though, a-b form gets a little tiring, you puled this off well =]

rachelle
| Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by dark lover | [ Reply to This ]
  This isn't too bad. I felt that the rhymes really constricted you expressing true emotion. But since this overall gave a cold feeling, I felt it matched into the situation and setting of this poem. I must say that this is particularly original; especially your perspective. Well written; but could be improved without any rhymes.

Abbas
| Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't think I can really relate to this. Sure, everyone was there downs, but for me I have way more ups. Well written, but I don't think it as totally unique. Keep writing.
~Caotic~
| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
  well wut can i say about this "talking" writing... well i dont want to say it it is all stupid and dumb .. i guess it has soemthing good at it, but you have to work on it.. it feels like you were another punk in the world... that wants to destroy it instead of making it a better world... well try to work on it .. and take care!
peace and love
and have a nice day
and if you have time please take a look to myw writings ...
Victor
| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
  i really really like this. sounds like what goes through my head now and again. awesome write, i can relate.
| Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by Holy Wood | [ Reply to This ]


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