Death

Author: DrewDilla ASL Info:    25/M/Chicago Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 131 /196 /51 Words: 127

Class/Type: Lyrics /Serious Total Views: 1484 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 723

Description:

---

Death

---

Every day I think of death Maybe go OD off some Meth I’m not sure if u can off that So my head I cracked with a bat I don’t want any painful way out So I’ll use a gun but that I doubt That it will be a painless way Maybe at first I’ll smoke a jay And forget about committing suicide By taking a very long ride To go meet this one girl Maybe all I need is a twirl To nock these thoughts loose And come to a known truce That I’m built different Like a tank is what I meant Cause no bone was broke And this is not a joke All my damage is mental Ya but the hit wasn’t gentle

Submitted on 2006-09-05 12:38:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

wow, i remember when i wrote like this its got a simple word flow, if thats what i'm trying to say, i'm not sure, but i really do like this though, a-b form gets a little tiring, you puled this off well =] rachelle

| Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by dark lover | [ Reply to This ]

This isn't too bad. I felt that the rhymes really constricted you expressing true emotion. But since this overall gave a cold feeling, I felt it matched into the situation and setting of this poem. I must say that this is particularly original; especially your perspective. Well written; but could be improved without any rhymes. Abbas

| Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]

I don't think I can really relate to this. Sure, everyone was there downs, but for me I have way more ups. Well written, but I don't think it as totally unique. Keep writing. ~Caotic~

| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]

well wut can i say about this "talking" writing... well i dont want to say it it is all stupid and dumb .. i guess it has soemthing good at it, but you have to work on it.. it feels like you were another punk in the world... that wants to destroy it instead of making it a better world... well try to work on it .. and take care! peace and love and have a nice day and if you have time please take a look to myw writings ... Victor

| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]

i really really like this. sounds like what goes through my head now and again. awesome write, i can relate.

| Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by Holy Wood | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

116909