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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Captordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pinurplepassion
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere in TX
    Elite Ratio:    5.92 - 165/146/17
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 697



    Description:
       This was written late one very emotional evening. I guess this is what happens at the moment you realize that the person you love is not the person you fell in love with, yet you cannot turn away.


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    dotsMy Captordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Eyes like coal and satin,
    Skin like anitique lace.
    You keep me locked inside a cage,
    I cannot leave this place.
    Hair like silken embers,
    Startling to the sight.
    Skin like plushest velvet,
    Encapsulating light.
    You desecrate my body,
    Enrapture all my thoughts.
    Hands so warm and tender,
    But gentle you are not.
    Oh dark angel, fly away,
    Release me to be free.
    Do not keep me hostage here,
    I beg you on my knees.
    And somewhere in your laughter
    Of hellfire and of stone.
    I hear the words you promised me.
    "You'll never be alone."






    Submitted on 2004-05-21 14:54:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very emotional. liked how described everything in a few words. liked the beginning part where you describe what everything is like. the rhyming was alright. i think it was too common. but it connected the next statement nicely. lovely.

    -soomie
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this poem, and it's ambiguity: you can't really tell if the descriptions are about the speaker or the captor. one critique: this line - "Of hellfire and of stone.", it needs a comma at the end, not a period. besides that, all is groovylicious!
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      im liking this wholething except the line " you keep me locked inside a cage"...i've read that line in several forms in so many peoples writes is there another way to maybe describe that feeling...but besides that i really enjoyed this exellent job...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the meter of this, it flowed very well, rolling off the tongue like music
    | Posted on 2004-05-24 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an excellent mixture of dark and beautiful. It kinda sad for the captive. I enjoyed this very much. Nice Write and Welcome to the Site
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is excellent. I wrote *something along these lines*, "Sex Kills Again", but it was not near the perfection that this was. I can't exactly point my finger but the last 3 lines could be changed I think.
    "Of hellfire and of stone
    I hear the words you promised me
    You will never be alone"
    I dont know, the first line I dont get. The 2nd is a bit long. The third is actually perfect.
    Good job, excellent job. Keep it up..
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]
      welcome cousin it is interesting ill say that but i dont really get it but it is definately you
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by Georgia Gurl | [ Reply to This ]


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