Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: AmandaLyn
ASL Info:    18/F/ Centralia
Elite Ratio:    3.59 - 292 /292 /42
Words: 213
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 900
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1355


so yeah I'm married and things aren't too peachy right now...


Sometimes I dont' know how

sometimes I dont' know why

I dont' wanna stay

I just dont' wanna try.

You say you love me

but you dont' act like you do

You want me

but you never say it's true

It's killing me inside

all these times I've cried

But I still love you

more than ever before

but why do I still

wanna run for the door

I dont' know if I can keep this up

it feels like a facade.

I dont' know if I'm just chasing a dream

looking for that mirage.

I have to and I must

even though my dreams for a happy life

may have turned to dust.

Did i make the biggest mistake of my life

tell me did you ever want this?

Was this meant to be,

or were we doomed with our first kiss.

But I love you, I'll love you forever

this has to work, it has to be

no matter what happens

for we are bound through all eternity.

Submitted on 2006-09-06 12:24:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  It's very nice I suppose, and heartfelt but I don't like the use of the word "wanna". It sounds childish and unpoetic. Maybe consider changing it to "want to"?
| Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by Aurora-Borealis | [ Reply to This ]
  Gee, nice piece. I feel the pain, although the sun is out, this poem makes me want to look for rain. Good luck A. L. I hope it works out for you.

The Poor Man's Poet.
| Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?