"What a cruel, and unforgiving world we live in.." I put my arm around Analise, and rub her right shoulder softly, as I stand on her left. Her tears seem to drown me, as I watch the one I love in pain. The night was dark, and cold with a pastel moon, smothered in clouds somewhere in the sky. I blink back my tears, in a gesture of strength, for Analise, as they lower her father's casket into the snow. It must be hard to watch the one person you've cared about your entire life, just fade away like that, I couldn't handle it myself, but Analise, She's strong. My words seem to come out as a jumbled mess when i speak them, so I find it simpler to keep them inside, or written on paper. That's why when I was asked to give a speech at Mr.Douglas's burial, I had to decline, as much as it killed me so. Instead, Julia Plymouth preforms one of her many sympothy shows, I cringe at the site of her, standing beside the priest, and yet, I couldn't force myself to walk up there and speak the words that I had gone over in my mind so many times before.
One by one cars begin to depart from the cemetary, Though Analise and I remain there hours after his body was awash in white. Again, without the right words, I simply hold her, and try my best to physically comfort her. I watch as her hands spread across his tombstone, and trace the words engraved in the hard granite. She opens her mouth to speak, and looks up at the sky, "Lord..Forgive me for what I have done." Her tears begin to bleed onto the stone, and her body begins to shake. My own sobs become present as I watch an officor walk from the warmth of his squad car, to the grave site, "Time to go Analise." With all the strength she could process, her pitite body begins to fight off the officor, without much success. Only digging herself in deeper, Though you don't really get much deeper than life inprisonment.
Just as the sun began to die down, I followed my mother's car with my eyes, pulling up into the parking lot. Clouded with tears, I watched her, an emotionless expression spread across my face, I had no feelings, I was numb, and that scared me. My legs almost picked me up to run away, far into the woods, where I could sleep, and dream, rather then fear my nightmares, but my entire body felt like jello, and I couldn't move. Still, I watched my mother sit inside of her car, neck against the leather headrest, and hands funnled over the heating vents. My face grew more disgusted with her by the second, and I had the largest urge to murder her, or myself, as people now say Analise did to her father. Maybe then, I could be with her, if only for a moment. I hear sudden rain begin to pelt onto my mothers windsheild, my own head sheltered by the swaying willow tree, hanging above me. I told myself repeatedly to stand and go to her car that would bring me home to sob in my own remorse. And yet, i simply waited it out. Eventually she would come, drag me lifelessly to the passengers door, and strap me in. I no longer felt anything, for anyone but Analise. The hatred I felt for the world, was tearing me apart, and I almost wanted to crawl in next to Mr. Douglas, would the world be happier without me, as it is happier without Analise?