I have again reached that emotional state. The one where a date or an event triggers my brain to recall everything that led to its creation and thus branded this specific experience into my memory.When a relationship ends with an unburnt bridge, you find yourself tempted to cross every so often. With time the past seems to lose its consistent mediocre aspects. You are left to contend with the extreme highs, or lows, or in some cases both images. These images are the select pictures that flow on that ever-rewinding video in your mind. The very ones that tempt you to cross.Whether you do or not all depends on if you want a reaction of some sort.I found myself at a bridge today. Staring down a long narrow path filled with mixed emotions. My feelings of despair surfaced first. Something that was lost a couple of months ago re inflected me now. What do I really want and what is the most effective way to get it? I was questioning my every move and living in fear that one fatal step could strike the match. This match you see could bring and end to my future options. Once you cross a line whether it be obvious or not, makes it almost impossible to back step. Was this bridge in front of me really worth the risk today? Have my emotions gotten the better of me? Even though my true destiny lies down this path, is this now the time to take it? And there it was, my truth! I knew in that instant that it was right, but how to get there from her was my deepest concern. Reflections of memories that warmed my heart began to swell from deep within. I sobbed for a short time and enjoyed my over due release. Panic! I know what I want, but what is the right stepping pattern for this particular bridge? Could there possibly be more than one? After several moments of time logic stepped in and told me that one step in front of the other and not looking back is the answer if you truly believe in your destination...... |