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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Small Stepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cat
    ASL Info:    17/F/Aus
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 104/87/27
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 132
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 464



    Description:
       I think the ending is a little quick, although I imagine it would be somewhat like that in reality, falling from a great height would not take a long time. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Small Stepdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Haunted by words of a twisted past,
    tormented by actions of so long ago
    forever repeating in my tortured mind.
    Fearful gaze and cynical view
    paranoid with reason, push them away.
    Smile so they don't see the tragic demise.
    A sense of dangerous calm
    I see my favourite place.
    Take a deep breath and climb the wall,
    look at teh ground, take one small step,
    hear the screams...my ultimate sin.




    Submitted on 2006-09-06 22:01:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I kinda got the "regretting" vibe from this. No matter how much you personally try to forget something that you did, and regret. The world just doesn't let you. You captured the emotions well in this piece, I felt each one pricking into my heart and mind.

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      look at teh ground, take one small step,
    hear the screams...my ultimate sin.


    it should be "look at the ground.....

    The more you read this over and over the better it sounds. On this site there is so much death and suside! That and and cutting is not so much fun to read about.... but I have to say that yours had something to it since I read it several time.... Good job on that point alone!

    Monica
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by mon28 | [ Reply to This ]
      yes falling is one of the best kind of deaths ever becasue you kind of rethink every thing as you fall just before you die you can nearly be happy i kind of felt like this after your poem and your right mon28 cutting does get a lil boring but very original train of thought going on here i liked it

    Rak^)
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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