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    dots Submission Name: Tenebris Almanachdots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 479
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771

       Well, I imagined it as a guide of sorts, on how to appear as a villain. Don't ask me where this came from, it's my mind's fault. Comes up with all sorts of weird stuf lately.

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    dotsTenebris Almanachdots

    Stab it in your heart
    When you cry for power
    As rebel angels burn
    The ground beneath is sour

    Take revenge if given
    Oceans over shores
    Cotton over silk
    Ladies over whores

    Never walk in silence
    Scream until you choke
    Never bathe in water
    Bathe in blood you soak

    If you find some mercy
    Force it down your throat
    Build the man a raft
    Before you sink his boat

    Stop to smell the sin
    Rather then the flowers
    If you find your kin
    Crumble down their towers

    When you find the beauty
    In all the brightest places
    Try to be invisible
    And cover up your traces

    Submitted on 2006-09-07 06:51:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! I loved this. Once again, it's the random works that usually come out best. The subconscous has a way of constructing things that inspire feelings which things built only by the "higher" parts of the mind can't. The format of this one was cool too. It flowed pretty quickly, short lines, good rhyme scheme. Great work, overall.
    | Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      I rather like it.You're right when you say you don't know where it came from because it's a bit random and abstract but maybe that's the attraction.Very direct and fairly decent rhythm and rhyming.I think the feeling is anger or torment,searching for something good in all the [censored] maybe.It reminded me a bit of my poem<Demons>.Not sure why as they are quite different.I think the first verse distracts a bit from the rest of the piece as it doesn't fit in so well-a bit too vague maybe.Still,I enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not quite sure i get it. It's all metaphors in an abcb or abab rhyme scheme, but metaphors for what? It's not a very easy guide to understand. Why should I build a man a raft befor I sink his boat? What's his boat represent? Why am I, the villan, sinking said man's boat? I can't really come up with any answers to this metaphor or, really, any of the other ones. If there is a meaning behind them, then that's fine: it's just not very explanatory- perhaps if I knew what the title meant. That's why I read it, the strangeness of the title, and maybe that explains all.
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]

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