Wow! I loved this. Once again, it's the random works that usually come out best. The subconscous has a way of constructing things that inspire feelings which things built only by the "higher" parts of the mind can't. The format of this one was cool too. It flowed pretty quickly, short lines, good rhyme scheme. Great work, overall.
I rather like it.You're right when you say you don't know where it came from because it's a bit random and abstract but maybe that's the attraction.Very direct and fairly decent rhythm and rhyming.I think the feeling is anger or torment,searching for something good in all the [censored] maybe.It reminded me a bit of my poem<Demons>.Not sure why as they are quite different.I think the first verse distracts a bit from the rest of the piece as it doesn't fit in so well-a bit too vague maybe.Still,I enjoyed it. A.C
I'm not quite sure i get it. It's all metaphors in an abcb or abab rhyme scheme, but metaphors for what? It's not a very easy guide to understand. Why should I build a man a raft befor I sink his boat? What's his boat represent? Why am I, the villan, sinking said man's boat? I can't really come up with any answers to this metaphor or, really, any of the other ones. If there is a meaning behind them, then that's fine: it's just not very explanatory- perhaps if I knew what the title meant. That's why I read it, the strangeness of the title, and maybe that explains all.