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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Babydolldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abby Sinthetic
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 177/230/53
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1612
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       I think I was just really, really tired when I wrote this. Pestiferous, I got the idea from you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBabydolldots
    -------------------------------------------


    She was only six years old,
    she was perfect, she was told.
    Now she's dead, they don't know why.
    All they do is cry, cry, cry.
    She had the face of a babydoll.
    The smaller they are the softer they fall.
    Everyone loved her, no one knew why.
    Nobody thought that she could die.
    Skin, white as snow,
    lips red as blood.
    pretty blonde hair all caked in mud.
    They thought she was perfect, that she had no flaws,
    now she's disfigured, her fingers are claws.
    but she is still their babydoll.
    And she's still loved by them all.




    Submitted on 2004-05-21 16:44:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      someone implied that this was about a little girl who turns into a werewolf... i don't personally think that is the case- i may be wrong, but... i got the impression of her dying, perhaps suddenly, and now she's dead, and the dead aren't pretty... or- something really bad happened to her, and now she's all [censored]ed up in the head and violent... but they still love her because of what she used to be... i am..not sure! hmmm. PM me with the explanation? pretty please with cherries on top?? i'm kinda stumped... at any rate, awesome-sounding poem... thanks for the read 'Abby'... *md*
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      god this is so heart breaking... i love how you put some of it though...
    she was perfect she was told. its so matter of fact... you cant dispute it... she was told therefore she was...
    everyone loved her though no one knew why... sometimes things just arent meant to be known but that doesnt mean that arent what they are... you know...?
    i like the babydoll'ness of her... i like the whole write...
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, this is just so sad. I'm almost crying. It reminds me of when old people talk about polio.
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This imagery is amazing. I got an image from "Skin, white as snow,
    lips red as blood.
    pretty blonde hair all caked in mud." of something between the "Bride of Chucky" and the girl from "the Ring". I am a movie buff. Anyway, this is one of those writings that makes you think on two different levels at once, and I think it works well.
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by pinurplepassion | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a sad and dark piece. It makes me think of Jon Benet up until the end. There is a flow problem in those last two lines maybe in the last line you could say she is instead of she's. Nice write
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...this is very sad...especially when you lose your little girl unexpectedly...i really likes your writes..
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      Really impressive. I like the imagery. My fav line is by far
    "They thought she was perfect, that she had no flaws,
    now she's disfigured, her fingers are claws" wow. good job. Im just not a big fan of the "cry, cry, cry" but the poem definetly makes up for it....good work
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]


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