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    dots Submission Name: Crying for youdots

    Author: Valle_Siddious
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Dystopia
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 93/94/41
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1108
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 861

       I wrote this one long ago.
    Hope u like.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrying for youdots

    When does it stop? When does it end?
    I'm crying for you, i won't let fate win.
    I want you that bad, i'm screaming inside.
    I'm lost and confused, i just want to go hide.
    Pain and the agony, aching in side me.
    I yell, whats this hell that has slowly surround me?
    Missing you badly, wanting you here.
    A small ray of light shines down, blinding my fear.
    Your beautiful face among all of the Damned.
    I ask you to stay, but my words are all jammed.
    You don't understand what i'm trying to say.
    My God, i just want you to stay, please stay.
    I pull you real closely. My hands round your hips.
    Our faces come closley, softly we kiss.
    You look at me, finally you understand.
    It's quite, quite lonely in the world of the Damned.

    Submitted on 2006-09-07 13:11:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice I like the rhyme scheme, all the words seem to fit nicely with one another. Keep up the good work

    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a really nicely written poem. great emotion and it's deep and dark. i like it alot.
    | Posted on 2006-10-24 00:00:00 | by Ali Marie | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written and your expression is very refreshing. I enjoyed reading it - well done.

    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This one was really good, as well. I really liked the last line. Once again, this one fits my mood. Well, talk to you later then!

    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
      That poem was hot I really can relate to the theme and I like your rhyme scheme that you used. but the only thing I see is that god should be God other than that it's great
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by lexdakid265 | [ Reply to This ]

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