Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crying for youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Valle_Siddious
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Dystopia
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 93/94/41
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1018
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 861



    Description:
       I wrote this one long ago.
    Hope u like.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrying for youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When does it stop? When does it end?
    I'm crying for you, i won't let fate win.
    I want you that bad, i'm screaming inside.
    I'm lost and confused, i just want to go hide.
    Pain and the agony, aching in side me.
    I yell, whats this hell that has slowly surround me?
    Missing you badly, wanting you here.
    A small ray of light shines down, blinding my fear.
    Your beautiful face among all of the Damned.
    I ask you to stay, but my words are all jammed.
    You don't understand what i'm trying to say.
    My God, i just want you to stay, please stay.
    I pull you real closely. My hands round your hips.
    Our faces come closley, softly we kiss.
    You look at me, finally you understand.
    It's quite, quite lonely in the world of the Damned.




    Submitted on 2006-09-07 13:11:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice I like the rhyme scheme, all the words seem to fit nicely with one another. Keep up the good work

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a really nicely written poem. great emotion and it's deep and dark. i like it alot.
    ali
    | Posted on 2006-10-24 00:00:00 | by Ali Marie | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written and your expression is very refreshing. I enjoyed reading it - well done.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This one was really good, as well. I really liked the last line. Once again, this one fits my mood. Well, talk to you later then!

    =Ayane=
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
      That poem was hot I really can relate to the theme and I like your rhyme scheme that you used. but the only thing I see is that god should be God other than that it's great
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by lexdakid265 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    117145

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry