Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stone Fistdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1345
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 465



    Description:
       by request of Artemis i was going to quit submitting but she asked to read so i hope i don't kick anyone off the Elite post


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStone Fistdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The man hit the woman brought her to her knees,
    Shallow man to blind to see.
    The hate in his eyes and fear in his hand,
    As he clenches it again.
    She didn’t do anything this time,
    But it really doesn’t matter to this slime.
    There’s no doubt the man’s going to hell,
    As her face discolors and starts to swell.
    She’ll walk out on him if she’s smart,
    And leave the man with his own corroding heart.




    Submitted on 2004-01-26 22:35:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      good, powerful subject and words, this is really good, its short too, that makes it better for the content aswell. powerful and raw w/emotion, amazing poem
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by Trystam | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. Love the last line! Leaves you with a powerful image... the sense that there are two victims here.
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      It's what we can call 'displacement.' It tends to be easier to let it out on someone else... but why hurt someone? good job
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]
      man!! with that one I have an idea of what darkness is....in my humble opinion it's one of your best !
    | Posted on 2004-01-26 00:00:00 | by Aceofthedice | [ Reply to This ]
      sh!t, not quick enough. siris stole spotlight. s'ok. it's your turn anyway.
    | Posted on 2004-01-26 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1172

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    The World written by jjd
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry