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    dots Submission Name: Stone Fistdots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 465

       by request of Artemis i was going to quit submitting but she asked to read so i hope i don't kick anyone off the Elite post

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStone Fistdots

    The man hit the woman brought her to her knees,
    Shallow man to blind to see.
    The hate in his eyes and fear in his hand,
    As he clenches it again.
    She didn’t do anything this time,
    But it really doesn’t matter to this slime.
    There’s no doubt the man’s going to hell,
    As her face discolors and starts to swell.
    She’ll walk out on him if she’s smart,
    And leave the man with his own corroding heart.

    Submitted on 2004-01-26 22:35:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      good, powerful subject and words, this is really good, its short too, that makes it better for the content aswell. powerful and raw w/emotion, amazing poem
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by Trystam | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. Love the last line! Leaves you with a powerful image... the sense that there are two victims here.
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      It's what we can call 'displacement.' It tends to be easier to let it out on someone else... but why hurt someone? good job
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]
      man!! with that one I have an idea of what darkness is....in my humble opinion it's one of your best !
    | Posted on 2004-01-26 00:00:00 | by Aceofthedice | [ Reply to This ]
      sh!t, not quick enough. siris stole spotlight. s'ok. it's your turn anyway.
    | Posted on 2004-01-26 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]

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