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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Thoughts On What Wasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: screamALEX
    ASL Info:    19/M/PA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 40/93/49
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1229



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThoughts On What Wasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thoughts On What Was

    A kiss that lasts for a
    split second,
    provokes a heartbreak of
    mass proportions.
    Hush secrets trapped somewhere
    obscene.
    Trapped between a whisper and a
    SCREAM.
    The loudest silence comes ever so
    silently.
    Honey your kill, killing me
    with your fucking irony.
    Let fate remind you how you’ve
    sinned,
    and once again fall from heaven with
    lifeless wings.
    But fall slow…
    for the ground below comes fast,
    faster than the drowning tide of
    our stories past.

    Let’s pretend to be complicated,
    and delay comprehending it.
    What’s “it”?
    Doesn’t matter.
    Nothing matters,
    when nothing is the matter.
    Let me keep writing these,
    poems,
    that you’ll never read,
    you’ll never see.
    Keep giving this
    advice,
    that you’ll never heed.

    Slit wrists were never my
    style.
    So lets slit open those
    lips,
    to relive your smile.
    And be your notion of
    perfection,
    while drowning in waters of
    imperfection.




    Submitted on 2006-09-07 20:04:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      so get this i was completely bored, and decided to go over old comments on old poems, and i saw a comment that you left me and decided id visit your page...Then I read this poem...and i know it's one of your older ones but im glad i read it...it's so good in that, "F-U-C-K you" kind of way...It's like Bitching at some one for being so [censored] and inconceivably blind w/out having to really say anything...You illude to the fact that whoever this person is, is arrogant and bullheaded, and ridiculously full of themselves and what they believe...and i just really enjoyed reading this and welcome to my favs...kisses~Ashley~
    | Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by redeemer | [ Reply to This ]
      I thank you for giving us the chance to read this most magnificent piece of art...
    I am speechless... all I can say is Fav's Addition
    I would like to pick a Favourite section... but for me it was all so well written and easy to relate to... it shows such great emotion... well done again...

    Hannah
    | Posted on 2007-03-03 00:00:00 | by seriouscutter19 | [ Reply to This ]
      Soooo stabbing my heart, i listen to emo and this is the most emotional yet poetic piece of art.
    "Let’s pretend to be complicated
    And delay comprehending it
    What’s “it”?
    Doesn’t matter
    Nothing matters
    When nothing is the matter
    Let me keep writing these
    letters
    That you’ll never read
    you’ll never see
    Keep giving this
    advice
    that you’ll never heed"

    this part the most kicking ass, especially fisrt stanza, lets pretend to be complicated, and delay comprhending it? wooo its just , I, i never thought of it for my days of writing and singing(screaming actually). I can visionize the things you mean when you wrote this piece. It breaks my heart to pieces, in a good way.
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Soldier O_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I can honestly say I just randomly clicked on the link for this poem, to be pleasantly surprised. I really liked the poem, though at places, such as
    "But fall slow…
    for the ground below comes fast
    Faster than the drowning tide of
    our stories past."
    Sometimes, the flow was lost to me. But I know, that when I write, I have a specific rhythm in mind, and often times come back to read what I've written to almost laugh at myself. So, granted it seems like a personal poem, and that's fine to flow it within yourself.

    I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVED two places in particular, and they hit me really hard, in a good way.
    "What’s “it”?
    Doesn’t matter
    Nothing matters
    When nothing is the matter."
    It's like you took those words right out of my mouth before I could say them, so I could really relate.

    AND.
    "Slit wrists were never my
    style
    So lets slit open those
    lips
    to relive your smile"

    That's so thoroughly perfect it blows my mind. I wish I had your aptitude for emotion in poetry. It seems lately that all my pieces can manage to do is be objective. I can manage good rhyme scheme, I can manage good assonance, alliteration... but I can't seem to nail the emotion. And it's not just emotion here, in this piece, it's emotion within skill, and that's amazing.

    I also appreciated the nonchalant approach to rhyme. It wasn't forced, but there was just enough of it to keep the rhythm flowing and emotion going.

    Thank you for this piece.
    Bravo.
    Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Fade ElBrunen | [ Reply to This ]


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    117202

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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