tender lodgings

Author: rouge wave Elite Ratio:    8 - 22 /16 /4 Words: 342

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 1318 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 1868

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tender lodgings

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If summer had a home,            a resort we'd visit            on our colder days,            it would be embodied            in her hair            When my eyes traveled            my limbs            weakened            and my heart            felt the cool breeze            that followed long evenings            Water on coal embers,            my nights tinted black            with whispering lingerings            that would match the vapor            of my breath            as I            exhale

Submitted on 2006-09-08 10:10:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Rogue, after reading this, plus your one other submission that's up, I long to read more. This was beautiful. I know as I read it again and again, I will see things that need changing, but right now, I'm in awe of the images and the amazing way you've expressed them. Webmaster doesn't like us just to leave compliments, and for myself, I know they aren't particularly helpful. Nonetheless, that's what you're getting from me on this. Sorry I can't be of more use. mae

| Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]

I read it about five times...and each time I felt that there was somthing I was missing. I don't mean that the poem was laking I ment that there are things in my life that I miss, and I was trying, to no avail, to find it in your poem. Now-I really liked the picture. Whenever someone adds a picture, I ask myself, "Why this picture?" The picture is of a little girl looking at a sun set (as I am sure you know:) ) By having that picture start off the poem, it made me open my mind to a more chid like view of the world...Children are mystified by everything... The things that we normally take for granted, children tend to soak them up as AMAZING. First stanza: If summer had a home, a resort we'd visit on our colder days, it would be embodied in her hair Giving your title logdings I really liked this stanza. In the first line by opening with Summer...it was a very light reminsing feeling. I liked how you sait, " It would be embodied in her hair.." These are the imagery that I got from that line: You could be talking of a lover, you stayed with one summer. Or it could be talking of the love you feel for your child, and the sweetness she brings to your life. Then ending made me feel a little melancholy. I think that this poem was very original...Romantically Modern. I felt that the poem was a little unclear...but this isnt a bad thing! It makes it changable to the reader. I wouldn't change a thing. A good poem is read A great poem is reread again. Kishkuman.

| Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by Kishkuman | [ Reply to This ]

wow really good, i really like it "Water on coal embers, my nights tinted black with whispering lingerings that would match the vapor of my breath as I exhale" i was really amazed by your poem it was really sweet and soothing. Fana

| Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]

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