Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Rhymedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aknahlij_d 1
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Loueezy
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 369/516/136
    Words: 334
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 993
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1800



    Description:
       ill fix the little things later, i just had to post this immediately


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Rhymedots
    -------------------------------------------


    id give a pint of liquor for every one of my niggas
    who put me in a place vital to their own makeup
    whoíd put their lives at stake to stay proud of these facts i make
    on a daily basis, whites that are racist still love and canít face it
    iíve changed besically everything you understand about
    paranoia and jealousy, friendship and adultery
    from aiming at my own fam to the masses
    i write songs for the wrongs of this world in morning classes
    i do it for my brother who canít utter words without stuttering
    i spit for my click who wonders where their brotherís been
    i rip it for specific reasons i canít even admit
    and i rap for the fashion of it, cuz you people used to call me garbage
    and iím just a struggling artist on all fours
    seeing the complexion of the floor and wondering what mineís for
    i score tally marks in my arm for battle wound rep
    and everyoneíll never know that i did it for attention
    tell me im dreaded, in most AA meetings and self-help clinics
    i bring down the capita with my neurotic banter and temper tantrums
    band on stage with drums and hums form the mic stand
    iím up front whispering, im just a hype man
    im used to standing in the back and lip syncing
    sitting in the field of vision with the panic light blinking
    all seasons, iíll bring all my flaws back to God
    and ask him "who the fuck do you think you are?"
    making me a living worry, i tell stories
    but they already heard in them purgatory
    im now in a hurry
    cuz im taking class time to brainstorm and display mine
    im hearing throught the grapevine that im in my prime
    so i rhyme




    Submitted on 2006-09-08 13:05:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this felt like a continuation of ""Write". it was really cool expecially the part about God and u questioning Him about ur flaws. i feel the same way about Him sometimes. i'm glad u started posted more so i'd at least have something worth commenting on more often
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    117295

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry