On a sheet of innocence I drew myself,
using death's ink to form the lines.
Careless strokes created a hollow shadow
black and white on a somber tablet.
This etched ghost sat empty,
lacking spirit and force,
longing internal spectrums.
The plain paper embodiment
of a fractured man
required limitless torment to portray fact.
The wretched tones from which to compose
this sadistic sketch were set
to a torturous hue
then vivid colors,
attained from sinister palates,
were utilized to fill the figure.
The eyes were painted with regret,
and glossed with misery.
They told tales of grieving loss
within a life of melancholy.
Anguishing guilt coated the heart
outlined by suffering abound.
The page stood still as the fading pulse
wept and bled uncontrollably.
My mind tinted with pain and sorrow
made subtle the high-lighted remorse.
Artistic words never written,
on a canvas where thoughts could be read
cover the memories engraved in gray-matter.
I traced costly wars to model my hands
decorated with pride and scars.
Pigments of hate layered over rage
junxtaposed to formulate the frame.
Once complete, this striking piece
spoke with a depicted voice;
screaming litanies of brilliance and sin
recorded in each breath of vitality:
A malevolent caricature bred new life. |
Submission Name: Caricature
and with most good writers the original idea is better then the actual execution of the write...it's not lack of skill from the writer, it's just some things can't be put into words perfectly...you still did a damn good job. I say this like every time, I'm WAY jealous of the skills you claim not to have......you paint the most vivid pictures that become more clear the more you think about it, so the first impulse is almost always a little spooky and then the whole point just really hits you. I Loved your wording throughout most of this but if anything had to be changed it'd either be the flow or the meter...neither of which are huge 'problems' in my point of view but some picky ppl might [censored] about that.....they can go piss off tho.