[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Winning Streakdots

    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 810
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1110

       This is about someone who is "just a friend." But she means the universe.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Winning Streakdots

    Kicked back: The shot of Everclear.
    A smile: Like something's on your mind.
    A question: Have you come to find
    The meaning of our scheming, dear?
    The rules are simple to the game:
    Don't need, don't lust- the rest is fine.
    But simply wink, and say my name.
    And you will beat me every time.

    Your cuts are clear. They realize
    That we and they are not the same;
    But if you let me love your pain,
    I'll hide it from their probing eyes.
    Come dance with me, devoid of light,
    And know me, with your eyes divine;
    Then you may have my soul tonight,
    And you will beat me every time.

    So tell me, darling, which is worst:
    The dream, the dreamer, or the sleep?
    Please save the dreams I couldn't keep.
    Please heed my secrets, trapped in verse.
    Your knuckles white, your will is set.
    You draw the Devil (death defined.)
    I'll say a prayer and place my bet,
    But you will beat me every time.

    Submitted on 2006-09-09 01:36:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A winning one, I like it. Nice rhymes, good choice of words.

    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by roberto | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]