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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: **Where I'm Fromdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       This was an English assignment givin to us. We were to wrtie a poem. First line: Starts with I am from...(then a place) Second line: Starts with I am from...(then a memorable place from younger years) Third line: I am from: then something using taste, or smell Fourth line: I am from...then you had to do something you've learned, something you've read, or something you've experienced Fifth line: is a conclusion line which we made up oursleves..tell me what you think and any suggestions to keep my mark up...thanks


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    dots**Where I'm Fromdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am from a cozy room with music drifting through my soul
    I am from a large horse barn; whinnies drifting from one stall to the next
    I am from a melting piece of chocolate, covering my face with warm, brown goo
    I am from an overseas tongue, speaking an unknown rhyme
    My life stepped out from a shadow, I can no longer hide




    Submitted on 2006-09-09 14:13:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a good assignment you were given for class. I am not sure I could have pulled it off. I must say, that this was a creative and delightful write. I loved how you weaved different details about your life into this short, and I do mean short, lol, poem. It flowed rather well. I think you mean barn in line 2. I can see you expounding on this more one day. For now, I like it as it is. Good job!

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked most of this. Since this was meant to be a school assignment, I would not suggest using the word 'goo.' It gives an informal touch to the poem. This must've been really hard to write; with all the restrictions and everything. We never get to write poems for school . A job well done




    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


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