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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Queendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kapri49
    ASL Info:    16/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 31/69/30
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 640
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588



    Description:
       This is about me and my ex


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Queendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your nights are spent
    Crying yourself to sleep
    Your days spent
    Thinking of your faults
    Cuz your the King of Doom and Gloom

    I've been crying for hours
    Thinking of how pathetic I am
    Wishing I could change
    Does this make me your Queen?

    Did you corrupt me with your sadness?
    Or was I always this way
    Underneath the madness

    I'm scared to hold on
    And scared to let go
    Petrified of going back
    But can't bare to stay

    Yes I am your Queen




    Submitted on 2006-09-09 19:54:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it Kay..Very straight foward but I think you could of done better..Filled with emotion which I always like seeing in your works! But it was alright wasn't your best keep it up though

    Crys
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it Kay..Very straight foward but I think you could of done better..Filled with emotion which I always like seeing in your works! But it was alright wasn't your best keep it up though

    Crys
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
      I would have liked to see a little more reaction between the king and queen metaphor. But other than that I enjoyed it. It thought it was great the way that you knew the kings downfalls and then the queen figured out that they were also her own. They were meant for each other. Nice to know that they were meant for each other even in a twisted way..
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by trenthippie | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This hits hard. I don't think there is a thing I would change. It's very pretty and blows the mind. Does sadness come from within or are we influenced by others? I think philosophers could have a field day with that one...

    I do like the imagery here a whole lot. It's awesome. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by Lessa Solarem | [ Reply to This ]
      I would have liked to see a little more reaction between the king and queen metaphor. But other than that I enjoyed it. It thought it was great the way that you knew the kings downfalls and then the queen figured out that they were also her own. They were meant for each other. Nice to know that they were meant for each other even in a twisted way..
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by trenthippie | [ Reply to This ]
      There are no facts of life. Your madness is from within an at the same time it is effected by factors of your environment.

    im tryin to make a point that everyone is different and percieves their reality in different ways.. Figure it out for your self with logical methods of finding out what makes you happy or sad..

    your writing was descently written. You didnt specify the type of comments you wanted soo.... get ready for some criticism, praise and opinionated blahblahblah.

    i would like to be constructive at the same time honest..

    Without knowing your motives for writing besides sharing/venting emotions into words i will have to assume that you are a perspiring poet.

    Structure was random throughout the writing.
    nothing wrong wit that for a piece like this. It did flow well,

    the concept and complexity of this poem was interesting. You ask the reader a rhetorical question, aimed at 'the king of doom and gloom'(nicely put by the way). I like the rhyming in the third stanza. The ending was well put. To answer the question was resolving.

    Thanks for sharing

    SIncerely
    SInceer
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]


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    117435

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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