Mind State by SinCeer05

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Submission Name: Mind State dots

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Author:	SinCeer05
ASL Info:	21mVA
Elite Ratio:	3.27 - 242/279/168
Words:	142

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Serious
Total Views:	161
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	918

Description:
this was a freestyle revised into a verse about a couple things. mainly about inner thoughts effected by smokin weed. It is sort of a bragging verse. I was just bored wit no real topic in mind...Feedback is appreciated, or recommended topics would be helpful...

Mind State dots

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Keep ya distance as I write rhymes an insight minds

i shed light in times of darkness that will leave ya heart-less,

take away ya respect-an-courage wit vocab and complex wordage

my bars reach stellar heights that are deep-space
just try to keep-pace as I release this speech-encased

with intelligence to decipher rogues, in my cypher-mode
I write in hyper-code, simply I transpose like davinci
hint-to-thee, ideas of irony instantly
words wit subliminal mint an decree
just lay back relaxed in this tunnel of smoke wit the scent of weed
inoculating senses of fermentation like replacing the air that you breathe
mental mind state to past time in anticipation to create
fictional visions that relate to signs of creation of hate
shattered spines by the way I write lines in one take

Submitted on 2006-09-10 02:10:37 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I liked this very much. Your free style was amazing. It has been awhile since I've chcked out your work. I'm glad I did today. I loved the way you rhyme and kept the flow. I wonder if you thought about adding to this. Anyways, yeah it was bragging, but in a good way. This was off the hizzy.

Catrina
| Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  i think i told you that your work is better when it comes straight out instead of actualy thinking bout wot to write, and it proves right, i like this, u got good imagination that goes with good words,
keep em cummin
kyrenia
| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm. I enjoyed this but I must say and I mean this in a constructive manner; stop abbreviating your words. This would flow a little better if you wrote with instead of wit. It just sounds better to the ear when read aloud. But maybe you were going for a unique sound, hey that's cool too. Either way very nice.
| Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]
  this one was good. but i've read a lot better from u. the whole rhyme scheme was great

with intelligence to decipher rogues, in my cypher-mode
I write in hyper-code, simply I transpose like davinci

| Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

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