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    dots Submission Name: Mind Statedots

    Author: SinCeer05
    ASL Info:    21mVA
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 243/279/168
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1327
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918

       this was a freestyle revised into a verse about a couple things. mainly about inner thoughts effected by smokin weed. It is sort of a bragging verse. I was just bored wit no real topic in mind...Feedback is appreciated, or recommended topics would be helpful...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMind Statedots

    Keep ya distance as I write rhymes an insight minds

    i shed light in times of darkness that will leave ya heart-less,

    take away ya respect-an-courage wit vocab and complex wordage

    my bars reach stellar heights that are deep-space
    just try to keep-pace as I release this speech-encased

    with intelligence to decipher rogues, in my cypher-mode
    I write in hyper-code, simply I transpose like davinci
    hint-to-thee, ideas of irony instantly
    words wit subliminal mint an decree
    just lay back relaxed in this tunnel of smoke wit the scent of weed
    inoculating senses of fermentation like replacing the air that you breathe
    mental mind state to past time in anticipation to create
    fictional visions that relate to signs of creation of hate
    shattered spines by the way I write lines in one take

    Submitted on 2006-09-10 02:10:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this very much. Your free style was amazing. It has been awhile since I've chcked out your work. I'm glad I did today. I loved the way you rhyme and kept the flow. I wonder if you thought about adding to this. Anyways, yeah it was bragging, but in a good way. This was off the hizzy.

    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      i think i told you that your work is better when it comes straight out instead of actualy thinking bout wot to write, and it proves right, i like this, u got good imagination that goes with good words,
    keep em cummin
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm. I enjoyed this but I must say and I mean this in a constructive manner; stop abbreviating your words. This would flow a little better if you wrote with instead of wit. It just sounds better to the ear when read aloud. But maybe you were going for a unique sound, hey that's cool too. Either way very nice.
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by MaxHam | [ Reply to This ]
      this one was good. but i've read a lot better from u. the whole rhyme scheme was great

    with intelligence to decipher rogues, in my cypher-mode
    I write in hyper-code, simply I transpose like davinci

    | Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

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