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Just a dream


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 261
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 660
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1604



Description:




Just a dream



I'm in this dream
I'm picking at the seams
On the couch we always used to sit on
And i look up, I thought you were there, but you're gone
You've gone away to some better place
But don't you know you can't hide from mistakes
Life's a tough game to play
But hey,
No one said life was fair
You know I'll always care
You'll always be in my head
Keeping me lying awake in bed
Thinking of you
And all the things we used to do
Are you scared like me?
Of how alone you could be?
You know you really have no reason to
I'll always be here for you, no matter what you do
I don't break my promises,
How did we get like this?
You say I'm like you're idol on a poster
But don't look any closer
Cause all you'll see is a small girl,
With a big shield, hiding from the world
I'm sorry i was a disappointment, but you had to see
I'm less than what you expected me to be
You'll always be special in my eyes
With a special glow that shines
I'm lying awake at night because i miss u
I tried to forget you but i guess i forgot to
Tell me this is a dream
So I can wake up and live my own reality
But I'm lying in my bed
And you're circling in my head
You're always with me in my dreams
You're too pure of an angel for me
But you'll always be my memory...




Submitted on 2006-09-10 22:18:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think this is a good expression of feelings. You convey to the reader just how you are feeling and explain why you feel that way. It gives the reader some good insight into why you feel the way you do and also allows them to relate to their own experiences. At some points in this, I got the idea that perhaps this person had died but then in others it didnt seem that way. So, I decided to interpret it as they have died to you in a way. They are out of your life and sometimes it is so painful that you have to try to tell yourself it is like they are dead. You dont see them anymore, you dont talk to them and the only way you can move on is to convince yourself that they are dead. I have had to do this once before in my life as I just had a really hard time trying to move past this one relationship. It did make it a little more bearable. Anyway, this is a good poem.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-09-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this a lot. i was wondering when you were gonna mention konstantine because your poem kind of flows the way the song does. you kind of follow the same style the song does as well. i like this because it's simple and you don't try too hard to use symbolism and you're so young, so it sounds young. i like this. normally i don't really like when a writer askes the reader questions. i think it sounds dumb. but here, like i said, it reminds me of konstantine. so good write. keep it up.
| Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very good write where you got your theme across very well
I feel the rhyme was forced in a lot of places but it dosent ruin the flow of the poem too bad
Maybe If you would like to try writing a write with the same theme but not in a rhyme style
I feel that would release a lot of the emotions you have inside more clearly
Excellent Job!!!
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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