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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In headlightsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kristen Gudsnuk
    ASL Info:    21/f/CT
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 182/229/86
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 550
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 453



    Description:
       Aww... aren't some people really endearing when they're all wounded?
    I basically wrote this because I liked the "dear" part... thought it was Deep and Witty.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn headlightsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    With that jarred smile
    As your pupils contract
    Little ink-splotches in the blue sky
    Of your irises

    With those raised eyebrows
    Asking the silence, why?
    Your shoulders folding in, like dove wings
    Protecting your broken heart

    With those pain(t)-soaked fingers
    Id like to touch once more
    Though I hate to see you so frenzied,
    You look like a dear, in headlights




    Submitted on 2006-09-11 00:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      With that jarred smile
    As your pupils contract
    Little ink-splotches in the blue sky
    Of your irises

    With those raised eyebrows
    Asking the silence, why?
    Your shoulders folding in, like dove wings
    Protecting your broken heart

    With those pain(t)-soaked fingers
    Id like to touch once more
    Though I hate to see you so frenzied,
    You look like a dear, in headlights


    "With those tortured eyes
    absorbing blocks of brie;
    wishing for a little w(h)ine-
    I am pitiful, love me."


    Sorry. I got lost in the rhythm of self pity and added a verse just for the pleasure of twisting the knife. Bad, bad Bill...

    HEHEHEHE!

    It appears life has given some poor soul a swift kick to the belly (via some sort of female trouble, perhaps?), and the only response is 'why me?' I hope you didn't back over the poor lad to determine what you just hit. Bad, bad Kristen...

    HEHEHEHE!

    I pray you're not the ambulance driver if I'm wounded on the roadside. PAIN-FULL!

    Be good, Squeaker.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice double plays on pain/t and deer/dear... both carry many associations: those fingers you want to touch again seems to me to be for someone who has been through much the same things as you. Empathic love... artistic pain etc etc.

    The play on headlight-fuddled deer... is quite a cute image, and one that makes this person out to be quite unknowing of the situation, one in which you're the one who is or wants to be in control.

    And yes, I agree with you about people who are endearing when wounded description. It's often comical, and often sad at the same time... a myriad of emotions really.

    Sounds like you like this fella hrm. If so, get your pickup running and your headlights on... j/k.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


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