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    dots Submission Name: The progression of high school romancedots

    Author: RedRoseofBlood
    ASL Info:    19/f/outsideyourwindow
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 592/582/135
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 1096
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1229

       I wrote this in my marine biology class. I have no idea where it came from. >.> I think it is cute though. Oh, and I am defintely open for title suggestions. This one sucks. :B

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe progression of high school romancedots

    I met this boy
    Playing with an airplane toy
    We were both about two
    We both liked the other, but didn't know what to do
    Then we went through a phase
    Called elementary days
    We hated one another
    And tried our best to stay away from each other
    Then we became teens
    The attraction returned, but remained unseen
    Both of us were timid and shy
    When he talked to me I did not reply
    Next came graduation
    A time of good-byes and celebration
    Years went by
    But he was still in the back of my mind
    I met this man
    Playing in a band
    We were both about twenty-two
    We both liked the other, but now we knew what to do
    We dated for a while
    Got married, and a few years later had a child
    He was a boy
    Who liked to play with airplane toys
    He met a girl when he was about two
    They both liked the other, but didn't know what to do
    They continued through the familar succession
    Until my son made a confession
    He is soon to be wed
    And hopefully the cycle will spread
    When he has a child of his own
    And it has moved out and grown

    Submitted on 2006-09-11 13:27:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I admire your using that difficult combination of "free verse" (without regular metre) with rhyming couplets. But I don't think you do the free verse very well ... it's not the actual way of speaking, but the work put into forming the sentences and lines ... if I'm right, you're going to enjoy paying more attention to that because the results can be really worth the trouble ... except nobody can tell you any more about that because your idea of what that's about is totally your own!

    The rhymes, you do very well! I so enjoy all the tricks that one can get up to with rhyme. Was noticing the elegant use you make of nearly-rhyming words in conjunction with perfect rhymes, which I don't know how to describe the effect or whether it has a name, but I like it so I guess some other readers like that too, whether they examine it or not!

    And I agree with anna kareinina. (Is she spelling her own pseudonym wrong or am I naive?)

    I hate telling people about spelling mistakes. Maybe I'll get some therapy and be able to stop someday.
    | Posted on 2007-03-01 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      i luvd it...simply beautiful and nice...u remind me of some boy who maybe is in the elementary days and doesnt talk much when we meet!!maybe u can write a sequel to it..!!
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by anna kareinina | [ Reply to This ]

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