Firstly, I can't think of any reason why this would be inapropriate. Now, my opinion. I think this poem could need some improvement, I have to say the writing scheme seemed rather forced. And I don't like poetry to be forced. I like free verse a lot, because most of the poems written in free verse have more emotion, and I can really feel what the writer wants to say. I am not saying rhyming schemes are never good, but it really can kill a poem sometimes, because the writer can be limited in a way. However, you have chosen to have a rhyming scheme, but then you suddenly change it around, you skip from abab to aabb and then again to abab.. And about your choice of words, there were parts that I liked the vocabulary, but in some places I didn't, like in the last stanza. with solved and unresiolved. Obviously they rhyme, but that is jsut because the 2nd word is the negative of the first. It's like rhyming a word with the same word. So. Enough about that part. You know, when reading this poem, I really had to think of the day it happened , which is pretty obvious, I know. But the thing is, I don't know everything really good, because 5 years ago.. I was still a child. I was only 11, and when it happened, I was breaking down the lego house I had made once. which indicates I really was a child back then. When I came downstairs, I saw my father watchin tv, I thought he was looking at a movie, so I asked him which it was, but he wasnt. The towers I saw, were not of some action movie, He told me it was real, and I remember looking at those picures .. for a very long time. It was exactly the way how you said it in your poem: A dark shadow flew past A second later a mighty blast People yelling and screaming Tears on the face streaming And now, looking back at it all, I realise it really was a dark shadpow. I seen this video, never released, made by amateurs, filming what happened, and the funny thing is that you donet see a plane, no where. Which is one of the mysteries.. which, according to me go really crazy when you hear about it, that it might have been a CIA complot. ..Maybe one day this will be solved... Sorry for rambling on and on, but this all is just what you made me think of, and I like it when a write makes me thinking.
This is one really touching write I think you did a fantastic job in keeping the memory of that terrible day fresh in our minds and hearts This definately carried a lot of emotion I look forward to reading more new writes from you God Bless Ron
And Please allow me to be one of the first to Welcome you to Elite Skills I hope this site brings you all the happiness it has brought to me Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron
i think this is really good very sad but a good write its an excellent way to put what happened into words i could have lost a sister in that disaaster but she got out i dont think it inappropriate in any way very moving piece adn an great tribute
I dont find this to be inappropriate. It is just honest and states what has happened in your own words. I think you did a good job writing this one. This day will never be forgotten, so devestating and heartbreaking. I feel for every victim and their families. To lose someone this way is unimaginable. It is hard to believe it has been five years, I remember this like it was yesterday. This is a good write. Take care.
so not innappropriate....i love it...i dont know if that sounded innappropriate but it was a very good poem..i like the way u made every thing rhyme and the approach u made on this topic...im very impressed....now i really cant wait to read lots more from u...Very good job and keep writing ~Caotic~
Honesty is what you wish honesty is what you get....
On the poem i love how you made it rhyme it was simple yet passionet it holds a certain part of you as you read and it keeps a hold of you long after the words stop.
THis is beautifuly poetic and it holds sadness along with many other emotions. i only wish to know what was going through your head to have such beautiful verces streaming out. this is an amazing peice.
I am not very patriotic and i practice my democratic right to speak against our so called "leaders" yet this poem still holds much of me.
This is a beautiful tribute and the many loved ones who lost so much that day i wish for them to read this sad but amazing poem. I am sad to addmitt i love this poem. Im sad to admitt this bc i hate admitting things period lol. You are an amazing writter and im honored that you have asked me to read such a glorious peice. i love this and shall add this among my favorites. thank you so much.