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    dots Submission Name: The Enddots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 555

       our feelings get the better of us

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Enddots

    It begins as a joke,
    merely a jest.
    A tiny feeling,
    within her chest.
    She buys a rope,
    lets give them a scare!
    But if it was real,
    would they care?
    She feels depressed,
    she wants to scream!
    She prays to wake
    from this endless dream.
    She steps from the chair,
    she has no doubt.
    She feels the pain
    and tries to shout.
    She regrets her choice,
    should have used the knife.
    What a stupid girl to end her life!

    Submitted on 2006-09-12 08:39:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't expect that. The fact that she would kill herself just to see if they would care.
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG, i totaly LOVE this poem!!!! its cool how you started it, how it started as a joke, but then she ended her life ..... verry cool. your totaly talented!

    Isabella :)
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ]
      You passed with flying colors my dear, what a {wonderful} gift life is, and we'd be stupid-ass fools to waste it...

    Darling, you hit home on this, and I can't believe I didn't read this already. Well, I'm wondering when you'll post more of your wonderful work here on Eliteskills, and I hope that's its soon, because what I need in the day is for a good writer to write and give a me a look into another mind than my montonous one.

    Anyway, loving your work, and continued success, and as always, and cookie.

    Sorry, fresh out of milk.
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      This, in my opinion, was better than 'Burning Soul'. Pehaps because it was further away from the girl's point of view. You announce events in an almost humourous way here. In all, I am coming to the conclusion that suicide is not your strongest genre. I'll take a look at your featured piece and leave a comment there.

    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this poem it was really good the only line I did not agree with although was:

    "What a stupid girl to end her life!"

    That line to me was kind of contradicting, not to the poem although. That line was contradicting to you, but then again did you put it like that to fool people? To make them think you think suicide is wrong and not the answer? Or do you really think suicide is wrong? After knowing you as long as I have which is not long, but still I can tell you have a lot of pain in your life. Anyway great poem keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by OscuraAmor | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! Absolutly stunning! A real work of art my dear. This hits a little close to home for me, which is why I love it so much. You have a wonderful gift for writing.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]

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