Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Enddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 687
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 555



    Description:
       our feelings get the better of us


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Enddots
    -------------------------------------------


    It begins as a joke,
    merely a jest.
    A tiny feeling,
    within her chest.
    She buys a rope,
    lets give them a scare!
    But if it was real,
    would they care?
    She feels depressed,
    she wants to scream!
    She prays to wake
    from this endless dream.
    She steps from the chair,
    she has no doubt.
    She feels the pain
    and tries to shout.
    She regrets her choice,
    should have used the knife.
    What a stupid girl to end her life!






    Submitted on 2006-09-12 08:39:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't expect that. The fact that she would kill herself just to see if they would care.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG, i totaly LOVE this poem!!!! its cool how you started it, how it started as a joke, but then she ended her life ..... verry cool. your totaly talented!

    Isabella :)
    | Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ]
      You passed with flying colors my dear, what a {wonderful} gift life is, and we'd be stupid-ass fools to waste it...

    Darling, you hit home on this, and I can't believe I didn't read this already. Well, I'm wondering when you'll post more of your wonderful work here on Eliteskills, and I hope that's its soon, because what I need in the day is for a good writer to write and give a me a look into another mind than my montonous one.

    Anyway, loving your work, and continued success, and as always, and cookie.

    Sorry, fresh out of milk.
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by Twisted | [ Reply to This ]
      This, in my opinion, was better than 'Burning Soul'. Pehaps because it was further away from the girl's point of view. You announce events in an almost humourous way here. In all, I am coming to the conclusion that suicide is not your strongest genre. I'll take a look at your featured piece and leave a comment there.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this poem it was really good the only line I did not agree with although was:

    "What a stupid girl to end her life!"

    That line to me was kind of contradicting, not to the poem although. That line was contradicting to you, but then again did you put it like that to fool people? To make them think you think suicide is wrong and not the answer? Or do you really think suicide is wrong? After knowing you as long as I have which is not long, but still I can tell you have a lot of pain in your life. Anyway great poem keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by OscuraAmor | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! Absolutly stunning! A real work of art my dear. This hits a little close to home for me, which is why I love it so much. You have a wonderful gift for writing.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    117736

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    This written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Linger written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry