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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Do not go gently into that cold nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Charles F Kane
    ASL Info:    34
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 4/17/14
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1098



    Description:
       loosely inspired by Dylan Thomas poem "Do not go gently into that good night"


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDo not go gently into that cold nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do not go gently into that cold night
    instead run like hell, run like hell.
    Because there are monsters out there
    monsters with guns and rifles
    AK-47ís and gold chains
    humongous reefers and horse needles
    and cars jumping and rocking

    Do not go gently into that cold night
    Itís better to hide in the shadows
    creep along the alleyways
    Because there are hunters out there
    predators and killers waiting
    packing heat and armed to the teeth
    dressed to overkill and murder
    taking lives like it was free for sale
    taking lives like it was free, yeah

    Do not go gently into that cold night
    Because if you walk they will get you
    You better pack more heat than they do
    And get them before they do to you
    what you donít want to do unto them
    but maybe have to do to them still
    A bullet for a bullet, a life for a life
    Because it is a jungle out there
    In the cold night of the city
    In the freezing cold night thereís no pity




    Submitted on 2006-09-12 16:30:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "In the freezing cold night thereís no pity " really stood out to me. It's a really good way to end this. Great job, outstading work. I think it would flow a little bit better if you were to change "AK-47ís and gold chains" To just simply "Ak-47s and chains" Removeing the word GOLD. Idk, to me it sounds better anyway.
    Good job,
    D.C.M.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      HA! Oddly enough, I found this write to be kind of humorous, although I dont believe it was intended to be that way. I know this is a most serious subject of a harsh reality of the world that we live in and I enjoyed the play on the original poem. Reality is all around us, no matter how we try to escape it, it is always there. Feeling safe and secure is something that we as humans long for, we search for, yet it is difficult to find. The world we live in today is filled with violence and anger, people who have no value on life whatsoever. It is hard to trust anyone these days and this write really expresses why very well. Nice job.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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