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Compassion Corrupt


Author: Rask
ASL Info:    17/female/Canada...
Elite Ratio:    8 - 56 /34 /14
Words: 30
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1301
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 220



Description:


Not one of my better works, really, just took me a few moments trying to scrounge up some inspiration so don't judge me on this. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Take care.

Useful comments appreciated.


Compassion Corrupt



Compassion Corrupt

When the stars succumb to the seas,
when your eyes finally close
I’ll be lost to oblivion;
Abysmal dreams and gunshots
at your ears.
You flatter me.




Submitted on 2006-09-13 10:08:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Compassion Corrupt

When the stars succumb to the seas,
when your eyes finally close
I’ll be lost to oblivion;
Abysmal dreams and gunshots
at your ears.
You flatter me.

well...i did enjoy the simplistic beauty of this piece.

i like how you brought life and detail to the tragedy of the guises of Lust, and its many faces/facets.

or quite possibly the moment in sex, the climax, when one closes their eyes, and cums in sweet extasy, succumbin to the carnal passions of your partner, and sinking into the concave of their beating heart, melding and molding to the contours of her passion flower...

actually i couldnt draw anyone conclusion from this lol, but i love how you left this piece open to interpretation.

i especially loved how everyone missed the intent and purport of this simple and elegant piece. i shall be scanning some more of your works for more poems such as this. a decent read. just wish the critics would realize that effort is required to make an intelligent comment here on ES.

Loquacious Mind
| Posted on 2006-09-14 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm not really sure what this is about.. but I'll try to interpret it my way.

My friend and I tried to figure out the meaning.. so here it goes... lol. So, I think that this peice is about death..? It sounds like you or somebody else has lost a close one. Like, you feel the world is going to end because you lost somebody so close.

You described it very good, even though it was short, it was meaningful. You used powerful words, so it made it really great!

Keep on writing,
~*~ Lisa ~*~
| Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh wow, why would I judge you? This is an awesome poem and short, just the way I like them. But one part I don't get is the "You flatter me." part. But this is still a very good poem and I like your use of words. Oh I would also like to know the meaning of this poem too, because it strikes as a familiar kinda feeling for me right now. I would tell you my story but you would think it was weird. Anyways it would be cool if you did a second part to it, because I would like to here a little more of this, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I guess I don't have any other advice, well if you could call this advice lol ^_^;;. But keep it up and I'm sorry I wasn't more helpful, it's just I stink at giving comments lol.

Ash
| Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by Ashuri | [ Reply to This ]


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