this is delightfully original and has some very cool ideas about god and all :)
i enjoyed the image of god being at a potters wheel and casually noticing it was the seventh day on his way to bed.
i agree with nomad that the analogy of the ketchup stain on the shirt is interesting. my opinion takes departure from his there, as i think it is an apt (if cynical) description of our time here :)
some points to offer, minor tidies -
1. thrid: third
2. within and hour: within an hour
3. perhaps adding punctuation into the first stanza, or using additional line spacing to break up the different points would be more effective?
This caught my eye since i am studying the book of Genesis for a philosophy class. I found your description of "our time" as a blot of katchup on a white shirt, rather intresting. That whole stanza is somewhat odd. From what i understand you are conveying that man is, or rather become a undesirable and insignificant piece of of a much larger reality of god's creation. i admit that compareing the memory of humanity to a stain on a white shirt (if that was your intention), is pretty origional. But it seems, rather off beat from the rest of this poem. well prehaps it is not, but regardless it's a odd and off beat analogy.
Submission Name: Genesis
