Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wanderersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rememberplaydoh
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 78/102/60
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1930



    Description:
       Ah...where to start....
    This poem began with two sketches, a man and a woman. I named them Dreogan (I pronounce it Dray-OH-gahn) and Caliana (Cal-ee-AHN-a) (Sufferer and Pain).

    As for the structure of my poem. The first letter in each line of each stanza, combined in order with those that follow, spells a word. (It's called an acrostic). First stanza spells Dreogan, Second - Sufferer, Third - Caliana, Fourth - Lady Pain, Fifth - Forsaken, Sixth - Now Dying.

    Note that the second and fourth stanzas are the meanings of the names found in the first and third.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWanderersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness - it is blackest night,
    Rolling mists encompass all,
    Electric energy surrounds,
    Opaque clouds roll across the sky.
    Gale-like winds disturb the trees,
    Arching their strong boughs.
    Now shaking, they hail as their Lord:
    ...Dreogan - the Dark Knight.

    Shrouded in his blood-red cloak,
    Unshaken by the midnight storm,
    Fearing naught he roams the earth,
    Forsaken - hurt by those he loved.
    Evil lies behind his eyes,
    Reigning all within his flesh.
    Empty and devoid of hope,
    Rage consumes; he suffers yet.

    Close behind and unbeknownst
    A dark and brooding beauty
    Listens to the Dark Knight's cries,
    In silence, grieving at his loss.
    A flame within consumes her soul
    No remedy can quell the blaze,
    Alone, yet near the one she loves,
    ...mourning wand'rer - Caliana.

    Lachrymose she follows him
    Along the twisted path he treads,
    Drowning in her brackish tears,
    Yearning to relieve his pain.
    Pallid face, eyes dull with grief,
    A mournful visage to behold,
    In and through all pressing on,
    Never yielding - Lady Pain.

    Forsaken, both, they toil on,
    Oblivious to all but pain.
    Reverberating, wailing voices,
    Screaming, crying, yet unheard.
    Aching, Caliana weeps,
    Kneeling, reaching for her Knight,
    Expending gaugeless energy,
    Naught profits; she remains alone.

    Now blind to love, in pain's embrace,
    Open hands aren't seen by him.
    Wand'ring onward steadily
    Death creeps behind, remaining close.
    Yearning after her Dark Lord,
    Inside, love's tight'ning stranglehold.
    Near to each other, yet so far,
    Grieving, press on...'til they die.




    Submitted on 2006-09-14 03:33:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm a vocabulary whore. And, the vocabulary that dripped through this piece, had me drooling.

    *Wipes drool off your page*

    Doh, you not only released so much yourself with this, but through the.....heartfelt languistics, you just smacked me in the face. The picture you painted. I could see it all happening and it was almost as if watching a nightmare. Seeing the darkened, male figure staggering, moaning in pain, in a dark cloak. Oblivious to the pain he leaves behind. That broken figure following him, knelt down on the jagged path she followed him on, gracing it with her tears. Holding out her hand for him to find when he turns back finally.

    You have truely managed to go into my heart and you have hopened me.

    *HUGS YOU* I <3 you.

    BCute
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      "Lachrymose she follows him
    Along the twisted path he treads,
    Drowning in her brackish tears,
    Yearning to relieve his pain.
    Pallid face, eyes dull with grief,
    A mournful visage to behold,
    In and through all pressing on,
    Never yeilding - Lady Pain."

    i lvoed this stanza i do not why but i could get the ideas coming to my head and i actually can relate to this, it is a great write... doh, i really love this idea and the message and names behind the paragraph put me closer to what you wanted to say ... a great write and keep writing and well if you have time please takle a look to my writing i would really ap`preciate it if you leave a comment.. thanks for sharing
    and have a nice day
    take care!
    peace and love
    Victor
    | Posted on 2006-09-14 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    118003

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Exult written by saartha
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    motivations, eclectic. written by Daniel Barlow
    Spaces written by Daniel Barlow
    Ahem written by Daniel Barlow
    For serious written by Daniel Barlow
    Sweet You written by Daniel Barlow
    The written by Hazy skies
    Sun-meeting written by Daniel Barlow
    Wisp of You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    your feet, your flared nostrils, your forearms written by Daniel Barlow
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    a trish poem written by Daniel Barlow
    The Inate written by MyPeriodical
    Beloved written by Daniel Barlow
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Forgetting You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Variety written by saartha
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    Roots written by Chelebel
    Terrified part three written by MyPeriodical
    Sólo por pensar asi written by MyPeriodical
    Ardent written by saartha
    Things become tangled written by Daniel Barlow
    Orange written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry