[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: little girldots

    Author: GorgeousCorpse
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 19/17/9
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Dark
    Total Views: 1116
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1654


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslittle girldots

    i see you little girl, playing with your dolls. the concentration on your face gives away your obsession with detail. you're clever - each doll has a well-rounded and fully-developed personality. do they reflect traits you possess, or the ones you wish you did? you dressed them all up so pretty.
    i see you little girl, crying because i took your dolls away.

    i see you little girl, drawing coloring sketching. always creating colorful images, ideas from your open mind wrought on paper by your talented little hands. are you envisioning a more perfect world, or just recording what you see around you? your art is all so original, so creative.
    i see you little girl, scurrying to glue together the shreds i've made of your work.

    i see you little girl, playing with the makeup your mum gave you. a layer of rouge here, a big glob of mascara there. you're too beautiful for the gaudy stuff i now find you slathering on your face. are you accentuating your delicate features or hiding your emotions? when you're finished you smile and curtsy to yourself in the mirror - a true lady.
    i see you little girl, pouting in the corner when i smear the makeup across your face.

    i see you little girl, tormenting your younger brother. you took away his toy cars, and smashed his lego castle, and ripped up his favorite magazines. you never smile or play or create anymore. aren't you glad you found your place in the cycle of things? as you no longer love, nor are you ever taken advantage of.
    i see you little girl, and i smile because you no longer need my guidance.

    Submitted on 2006-09-14 11:11:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting. It looks to me as if the little girl symbolises the sweet innocence that is robbed from us all by a cruel world. Correct me if I'm wrong. Also, it seems to show how when your a child you see the world with a fonder gaze, but then you begin to grow up and realise life isn't quite the fairy tale you imagined.

    It's probably just your writing style or something but what's with all the lower case letters? It looks kind of childish to not use capital letters...

    I really like the repeated pattern of 'I see you little girl' starting every new paragraph and finishing the beggining of it's last sentance.

    | Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by Seele | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]