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    dots Submission Name: touches and tangles; love & strangulation.dots

    Author: taramarie
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 54/107/61
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 585
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 922


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstouches and tangles; love & strangulation.dots

    hook a bloody finger into my belt loop
    and tell me i won't ever fade out of style.
    you know i only love you because
    you make the photographs burn
    so much sweeter.

    you buy me flowers with monster teeth
    and when our lips meet
    our tongues fight with a flip of defeat.

    zipper to zipper
    and when our windows fog up
    you're always the first to finger
    your devotion onto the fog.

    spine to spine
    our naked secrets and petals age in the pages and sheets.
    our hearts leak perversion.
    (but our love is writen in the caves!)

    your cigarettes and my long hot showers.
    when i pour you the last of the coffee
    you ask
    "is that it?"
    i touch my hand to my hip
    and say
    "you were expecting more?"

    Submitted on 2006-09-14 14:26:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "and tell me i won't ever fade out of style."

    awesome line...

    your cigarettes and my long hot showers.
    when i pour you the last of the coffee
    you ask
    "is that it?"
    i touch my hand to my hip
    and say
    "you were expecting more?"

    a bit of dark humor here...or at least that's what i took it for...this last stanza actually made me like the piece a lot more...
    don't know whether the hand on the hip is attitude or a kind of sigh, like...ugh, is there any more...

    there were a couple things that were obviously really personal that only you would understand...such as the photographs burning line you put in there, or the cave bit, but...it doesn't take away from the piece...actually...keeping some things hidden adds more to the whole...sexual thing you've got going on....
    all in all it was a good write.
    | Posted on 2006-09-29 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]
    you havent been writing so much lately.. i havent either but i doubt its for the same reasons. ive been too busy being happy. i hope its the same for you. love the second stanza.
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]

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