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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beforedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JKPS613
    ASL Info:    17 / f / GA / USA
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 388/377/47
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1078



    Description:
       Um...I don't know. I was listening to a song and it made me think of summer and then when I started writing this I started thinking of when I was really, really little....I tried to use a little bit of imagery and it's a little "out there," too, but wuteva. I'm not even sure if it's relate-able. I mean, no one's as "innocent" as this poem makes them out to be, are they?


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    dotsBeforedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Summer’s in the air,
    I can smell it right here.
    And I wanna go down
    With you
    Into the town.
    Take a walk in the park,
    Check out all the museums.
    Lie down on the sweet summer grass,
    So green,
    Smells so delectable to me.
    Remember sweet moments
    From before we were here,
    Before we were alive -
    Or at least before we cared.
    Small matters were small
    And bigger matters were, too.
    Boys were boys,
    Girls were girls,
    Death and violence were the words
    Unheard of by our small, sweet ears.
    Drinking soda and licking ice cream
    Cones as the ice cream drips, drops
    Slowly to the hot concrete
    Under our burning bare feet.
    But nobody cared.
    It was summer
    And we could smell it in the air.

    Now things have changed
    Because small people get big.
    How I long to smile
    That carefree smile,
    The one I used to make
    Before I was alive –
    Or at least before I cared.




    Submitted on 2004-01-27 12:36:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      beautiful piece. you really captured the essence of summer for a child. it made me feel very nostalgic, and in answer to your description; i believe it is exactly how you wrote it, we're all innocent until we grow up
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ]
      Not after they grow up, but yeah, people really are that innocent as children. Take a look at your younger siblings, or a neighbor's kid sometime. The people who really live are the ones that learn to hold on to some of that innocence, to be aware of the world and how it works, without getting jaded. Now, as for the poem itself It's good. I like it. Made me think of June when I was maybe 5. Big yard, critters everywhere, icecream, lazy nights catching fireflies... You did a good job conveying the nostalgia without getting too sugary. Well written! <><
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent piece. As I grow older, I find myself looking increasingly backwards, for a simpler time, before the Ridalin and Prozac age. You captured it beautifully. Congrats.
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]



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