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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blood and Tears (Lebanon's wound)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadows Life
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 127/127/27
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1536



    Description:
        i lived through most of the last war on lebanon the bombs falling not five minutes away from where i lived... just a few thoughts i wanted to express....


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    dotsBlood and Tears (Lebanon's wound)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Echoes of bombs linger in the distance, the pillars of smoke rise steadily through the night sky.... night sky how foriegn that word seems to be when night and day have been made the same by the never ceasing fires that burn through the heavens, lighting the way for all who wish to see the chaos and destruction that has been wrought upon the land. Memories of joy and laughter fade away as tears stain every cheek and wails of sorrow haunt the halls of empty homes. Children lost in the street paint the portraits of forgotten youth and innocence stripped away by the unforgiving hand of death... ahh, death sweet neighbour and trusted friend, sole companinon of many through these bitter days and nights, ever present never satisfied no matter how many babes lie cold and lifeless within the earth. Anger burns in every heart and mind and hatred resonates with every fleeting look, hope lies vanquished and forgotten despair is all thats left for the millions who walk the desecrated land, dead or alive it makes no diffrence condemned to misery they walk the familiar road of the unknown... But yet in the distance a prayer is heard a lone voice carried on the wind, a promise that though the pillars of dust and smoke cover the sun, one day it will shine again and one day the wounds will heal and the sorrow will be forgotten. One day the children will learn to laugh and tears will fade away... But till that day of peace and serenity the bombs remain the requiem of the fallen and the dead remain the only ones at peace.




    Submitted on 2006-09-15 03:06:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very well written and expressed and I think the last lines of this are very powerful. It must be so difficult, scary, and frustrating to have to live with this going on so close to you in your country. I can only imagine how this must feel and how scary it is with the explosions so close, the devestation and loss of life. This piece is very descriptive and the imagery here makes this real for the reader. I hope you will remain safe and your country will find peace soon. Please take care of yourself. Very good and powerful write.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey , I live in Lebanon too , and I heard the bombing couple of times , I have the same thoughts as you do , but I donít think I would be capable of expressing them as great as you did .
    The greatest lost for Lebanon wasnít the buildings that were ruined, nor the bridges or the streets that have been bombed...itís the children that will never live to see what the future is like ,or will face it with a scar in their heart and maybe hatred and vengeance for those who killed their loved ones . All we have to do is cling on to hope...The war is over in our country I thank god...But itís not over for those whom their life have taken another direction . Even if our country is in peace, their souls remain in a war...
    Undoubtedly great write

    ~~Drakoniss~~
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]
      Very descriptive and well written. The imagery, especially of night and day looking the same due to the 'never ceasing fires' was wonderful!
    Maybe you should consider slitting it down to smaller paragraphs. It just makes it more reader friendly.
    As it is, all the sentances are rather long and wordy. I suggest you stick in some shorter sentances to give it a powerful edge and variation. Sometimes short sentances can be more effective than long ones.
    Anyway, I enjoyed reading this.

    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Seele | [ Reply to This ]


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