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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Poledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tissue
    ASL Info:    17/Male/New York
    Elite Ratio:    5.06 - 80/87/33
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1060



    Description:
       A short, loose piece written at school (as most of my pieces are).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Poledots
    -------------------------------------------


    A metal pole, rusted and spent, stands honored in a Maryland backyard.

    It was a meat-hanger for ancient tribes, when they first began the hunt.

    It was a factor in Ericson's hut, built short after he arrived.

    It was the second pole for a lacrosse goal, back before it was called lacrosse.

    It was the man-made branch Chief Growling Fox laid his headdress on at night.

    It was part of the barricade for two American wars.

    It was a hunting support for families during the Depression.

    It was what helped Old Lady Wilkens up after her nasty fall.

    And now, a tetherball hangs from the top, adorned in simplicity and stripped of due honor. Its owner knows nothing of the pole's history.

    But the pole does, and it can smile as it thinks of its testament to a life of changing history. One day, it will be a forgotten piece of scrap metal, withering amidst withering weeds, but it will still stand strong. Remembering.




    Submitted on 2006-09-15 09:50:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Heehee, you have such a cool name, Tissue!

    Anyway, I liked this because it took an object most people would concider as rubbish, yet here you've listed all the importand things it's done. And I loved the personification of ol' Mr Pole.

    Hummm...all those "It was"s kinda bugged me, even if it was for repitionial perposes. So maybe you could consider changing that...

    All hail the almighty pole!


    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Seele | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this piece better than ramen...although ramen was also a good piece....

    this one was a bit more descriptive, and your ideas were amazing i think....

    the history of the pole was awe inspiring...just because it is a simple thing, and yet without it...well meat would be dirty and Old Lady Wilkens wouldn't be able to walk around...

    the last part seemed a bit melodramatic, but it really did work....i guess anything written about an inanimate object would seem melodramatic....

    one minor itch when reading...the repetition of withering didn't really work for me...nothing big, it doesn't take away from the piece or anything...just...i don't know, personal itch is all...

    but once again, a really interesting and enjoyable piece.
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]


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