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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: blood-stained vanitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: silent_death12
    Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739/805/135
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 1315
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1561



    Description:
       OK please please please don't tell me how cliché this is!! I know, hence me telling you now. ok other then that go crazy wrote this like aug.28 and just found it.....still about the same person it'd be about if I wrote it now tho....*sighs* yep okay I'm done....
    ~~jess
    --and I kinda stole L13 from the used song 'burried myself alive'


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsblood-stained vanitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    empty vessels of useless spite;
    human emotions wasted on an ordinary life,
    vacant glares laced with limitless hate,
    we can't destroy that which we did not create.
    still holding animosity towards every contradiction,
    creating chaos against what we won't embrace.

    I stay inside the lines;
    for lack of reason not to,
    I'm capable of breaking through...
    but do I still even want to?
    No one wants to hear another view,
    no desire to let these lines fall askew.

    I think the chains broke away,
    when we lost faith in our doubt.
    and I was finally ready,
    to admit you were on my mind,
    but when I ran in search of your name
    I couldn't find you there;
    waiting for far too long...
    only to walk away alone,
    leaving behind a faded signature,
    maybe you won't forget again?
    or was I just the memory,
    you tried forever to forget?
    was I just the silent vow,
    that you haven't spoken yet?
    would you answer if I begged you to,
    and what would that really mean?
    will it always be that you wanted,
    to forget me within that dream?
    and I wonder if you would hate me;
    just so you could let me go...
    and would it make me crazy,
    if I held on forever even so?
    why should I walk this path alone,
    "it doesn't have to be so meaningless"
    when I just need you here to make this right?




    Submitted on 2006-09-15 20:49:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very good. I think that you used the perfect vocabulary to develop your poem and overall, it is superb. lol i never use that word, but i really liked it.



    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ]
      Mhm mhm, I'm definately adding this to my favorites. -Nods head really fast.-
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by brokenxheartedx | [ Reply to This ]
      "we can't destroy that which we did not create." that's straight outta slipknot song(can't remember which one). but this is an emotional write. i certainly hope you reconciled with whomever this was inspired by; espcially if that individual didn't really do anything; or even if they did. i understand what you're saying; very well; but know that no one person can ALWAYS be there; despite wants and necessities'. as usual with you; great write; wonderful vocab, and strong images. so, how much would you charge as a tutor? all i can say is this; GREAT JOB!!!
    | Posted on 2006-09-16 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      If I were that person,gosh, I'd really rethink of my relationship with you. I see you really have a strong foundation to bind that which is lost so as to discover what portion of love is missing. There definitely something not right with how you approach that person. No one wants mushy all of a sudden,that comes later when knowledge of knowing what a person is all about No one wants a gossip monger to pal around with. Lasting relationships are founded on trust of confidentiality. If the person you like,(eh,love) has a fault don't try to retrain but gently lead that person towards improvement. I could go on and on but I think you hae grasped my mean.
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      grats hun, you made me sad, good write I enjoyed reading quite a bit and I cant really completlement you on much as you are perfect in every area ive seen in most writes.

    I will take a few lines.


    "I stay inside the lines;
    for lack of reason not to"

    This to me shows hatred towards what you havent felt and havent been able to touch and without a reason, (to yourself) you hide from what is not known?


    "I think the chains broke away,
    when we lost faith in our doubt.
    and I was finally ready,
    to admit you were on my mind,
    but when I ran in search of your name
    I couldn't find you there;"


    Talk about taking words outta my mouth about my ex :( well firstly it gives the feeling of depression amidst paranoia(dunno if I spelt that right) and secondly it states that you are lonely and wanting a companion to cherish to hold to love or anything else.

    Id take it more into detail but I have a movie to watch so ttyl hun.
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Jess
    This is an interesting write from you
    I take this almost as a write longing for the return of someone who meant a lot to you
    If that is so I hope you are able to make amends with this person
    The 2nd stanza really hit home to me
    Excellent job
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please keep in touch!!!
    | Posted on 2006-09-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW that was awsome! i really like it i thought it flowed nicley. It was very strong LOVED IT!!! well once again awsome job as always lol!
    XOXOXO lol maddie....
    | Posted on 2006-10-07 00:00:00 | by BarleyBreathing | [ Reply to This ]


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