This one single poem is not enough-
I could write about you for the rest of my life
and I suppose I will
I don't understand how I cannot control my own feelings
If I'm not in control than who is?
I've carried you with me for what feels like eternity
It's so hard for me to trust and love anyone else
There's no room- you have everything of me
Why am I alone-why aren't you here with me?
I wonder if you're suffering too
I can hear your words but I can not feel your pain
And it hurts me, everyday
I want so much of you, as if you never gave me enough
You never eased my pain
You tell me you love me and that there's no one that you'll ever love more
If I love you so much then why don't I believe you?
I believe we'll never be together
Maybe because I wont let my self
I'm hurting inside and the only thing I tell myself that will heal that pain- is you
But that's not true, is it?
I wish I had no feelings and there was no such thing as confusion
If no one in the world ever loved someone
would that honestly be that bad?
I've lied for you, sacraficed for you, I'd kill myself for you
But for what?
There's an emptiness inside and I have nothing left
I've felt enough pain for my time and I can't seem to numb you from my conscience
Days go by and some are better than others
But then I think of you, not knowing...like a sharp knife in my back
And I break down again
Except now I've learned to keep my tears inside
Tears show that my soul's bleeding
And I can't let you win
I'm alone and no one understands
My mind is a complete mess, a spiral of my own insanity
When will this go away?
I imagine your hand reaching out to me and I want to hold it and kiss it
But I can't, it's too far out to touch
I hold my head down as if I'm being punished for loving someone
Never looking up to let the sunshine warm and heal me
I guess I have to hurt, I have to keep you somehow with me
And if hurting is the only way, than I'm in my own prison
Eventhough the door is so wide open