The idea is original, in fact I myself have a certain obsession with time and I mention it in my poems quite often but not like this. Your rhyming is flawless in combination to the imagery it make this poem a very good piece.
If you take some time to examine the beats in each line and look at the patterns I'm sure you will find that this poem is not symmetrical. If you remedy that then the form will do a lot of the work for you and give this a more sophisticated feel. I think that's the major problem with this piece (along with the phrase "rot and die") Like the previous reader I liked the ideas contained within and do see merit and potential. This one could turn out rather well.
your ideas are great and i get what u mean but i get this very teenage feeling about this poem. i can't say i honestly like this poem or that it is any good at this stage but it's the poem of somone who has a lot of potential and it's still quite young