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    dots Submission Name: Deepest of Secretsdots

    Author: takenspiritwind
    ASL Info:    21/F/NH
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 117/95/38
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 464
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1742

       It's a bit shakey...and it could use alot of work I know this. This is the poem Hush..so if you want to see it's progress or retrogress take a look and tell me what you think. Add or take out anything. Any help would be appreciated!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeepest of Secretsdots

    A Secret
    Love holds the deepest of secrets best kept,
    this secret has watched as many have wept.
    So this secret well kept can hurt one so,
    for many this secret has caused much woe.

    A Mystery
    To know and understand would be so great,
    to solve this mystery would be such fate.
    And fate it must be to cause so much pain,
    to so many however; love is vain.

    The Hurt
    There is this secret she cannot tell,
    protecting her love for him in a shell.
    Her heart had been broken on time before,
    the pai she couldn't endure anymore.

    Broken hearts and feelings of deep remorse,
    time and death are but of one mighty source.
    To stop the pain you must give up your heart,
    but to give up your love you'd fall apart.

    A single regret of mysteries kept,
    wonders of choices where many have wept.
    It becomes a mystery well hidden,
    to know this mystery is forbidden.

    Defeated you were by this simple word,
    you call out forever, but you're unheard.
    This four-letter word you to your grave,
    forever you'll search that short word you crave.

    Still Unknown
    Time is of essence our lives are so short,
    you searched you whole life only to abort.
    So sad it is your time has now run out,
    you have failed and all others have doubt.

    Doubts of life of love, and sincerity,
    of how successful our union will be.
    But deep within the shadows of mistrust,
    the desperate will do as they know they must.

    Submitted on 2006-09-16 21:52:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      at least you tried. this flows well, rhymes well, breathes well. but it's so very cliché.
    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]

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