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    dots Submission Name: Undefineddots

    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 903

       I asked him once what I was to him...and he said everything. Today I have no idea what I am to him...what he wants me to be to him..or what he wants to be to me. We are simply this...a relationship...Undefined.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There was a time,
    When I was yours,
    And you were mine.
    Two hearts,
    That loved and desired,
    And hurt and bled,
    An unmistakable, genuine love,
    With a destination clearly stated.
    Somewhere you went your way,
    The path I thought was ours,
    I now travel all alone.
    We had ties that bind, but
    We have now, my love,
    What they call,
    A relationship Undefined.

    I called you husband.
    I called you friend, and lover, and partner,
    In a journey we were supposed to make,
    But I become not worth the time,
    Not worth the effort,
    To keep our love in tact.
    We epitomized love, and truth,
    Honesty and committment.
    Our love was exactly that kind.
    How my love,
    Did we become,
    A relationship Undefined.

    Submitted on 2006-09-17 21:49:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Repetition is a common literacy device often used excessively and incorrectly. The gentle repetition you used here emphasised your point well.
    Your wording was very simple and if one was to skim read this poem it may come across as averagely written. However, reading intently this write is touching, understandable and somewhat saddening.
    I enjoyed this simple and emotional write. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]
    Excellent write! It's funny, I myself in this situation and you've spoken from my mind as well.
    I'm grateful to you for taking the time to put this piece out in the open.
    I'll be sure to watch out for your writtings.
    | Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]

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