Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/454
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 905



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    To me you are my life, I can not walk this world without you. I need you to move on, and without you I've fallen into a fucking mess...You are my drug of anyother in this system that leads me to the largest withdrawl when I can't have enough of you. You are the light in my world that awakes me every morning and ticks in my dreams every night. Oh, how I'd make piece with everything here if you were near...I confide you, I embrace you, the need to hold your hand..I burn to hold you, I tremble to kiss your lips, and dance with you along the sunsets of this horrid past that is keeping up with me...I need you in my life, because life has simply became lifeless and it's pointless inside my dreams if I don't have you...I need you...Every time your eyes hit mine, I fall into a deep breath taking trance and I can't find my way out of your trap of happiness you bring me...




    Submitted on 2006-09-18 16:38:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "You are the light in my world that awakes me every morning and ticks in my dreams every night." is an excelent line, that fills my head with memories that had long been forgotten.

    "I confide you, I embrace you, the need to hold your hand..I burn to hold you, I tremble to kiss your lips, and dance with you along the sunsets of this horrid past that is keeping up with me." Tells the story of a guy lost his love, where he's still in love with her, speaks it toward her, but she dosn't feel the same. Am I right? I guess that based on personal experiance. I have been going through that for like three weeks now, and will probably go through it for the rest of my life. It kills me inside to watch her love another, it feels almost as if " I envy every one that hugs you, for in that second, they hold my world." Sort of speak.
    Keep it up,
    ~David~
    | Posted on 2006-11-08 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
      Alex,

    So amazing...
    I'm speechless...
    Or perhaps I'm actually really losin' it.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2006-10-27 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very cute, it's more like a thought, and it's so honest and truthful. It's very sweet :). I can relate to this myself with person I'm with, I love him with every breath I take in, he's my world and I would end my life to save his. Overall this is a great piece, keep writing and I hope to read more from you soon :).

    ~Cris
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    118615

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry