Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sometimesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Charles F Kane
    ASL Info:    34
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 4/17/14
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       Feelings


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSometimesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sometimes I'm mad
    Sometimes I'm crazy
    Sometimes the world doesn't make sense
    Sometimes everything's just hazy
    Like i'm on the other side of a brick wall
    Can't even hear your frantic call

    Sometimes I'm paranoid
    Sometimes I'm insane
    Sometimes it's like the world
    gives me nutting but shit and pain
    crawling around in the mud and gutter
    making me choke and sputter

    Sometimes I'm groovy
    Sometimes I'm cool
    Sometimes it feels like
    I'm anything but a fool
    But that's just an illusion, a dream
    shattered like glass, I scream

    Sometimes I'm nothing
    Sometimes I'm noone
    Bloody invisible to everybody
    better I was dead and gone
    I'm walking like the dead anyway
    No matter what I do or say

    Sometimes.




    Submitted on 2006-09-18 16:55:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You should work on your rhythm and flow a wee bit. You could also work on your rhyme just a tad. Also try to tie in you subject a little more.
    --Chris
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by causticprincess | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    118620

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry