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    dots Submission Name: Martyrdots

    Author: MorbidAngel114
    ASL Info:    20/f/Behind you
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 445/480/114
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 895
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 645

       I don't know...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The dying embers wrought in pain
    Frightened leaves shiver
    Beauty devoured by larcenous souls
    Heart begins to shrink
    Wrenching worthless memories
    Soul begins to quiver
    Lost in endless battle

    Cease not the life
    Nor the reckoning

    Carried by thoughts of happiness
    Although what seems to be is not
    Reddened fades to horrid brown
    Forgetting all the while

    The Life has been dried
    While the world has been cracked
    Down upon the ground
    Lies a martyr, at best,
    Scarred beyond belief
    May they rest in death

    Submitted on 2006-09-18 18:01:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      great poem. the rhythm is a little weird, and it kinda makes the poem hard to follow at times. the ending is good though.
    | Posted on 2006-09-25 00:00:00 | by nephthys | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha, loved the ending line. Very ironic, "may they rest in death". Not just ironic, but very true, in a sense, for that's all it really is; death...but while one sees the darkest side of something, somebody can always find the best part of that darkness, and that is the peace. The peace of no longer having to struggle against life and all of its pain and lonliness....
    I think that the picture goes very well with your poem. It also fits into the whole death is beauty, and beauty is death metaphor. Black usually represents death and darkness, and a rose represent beauty, love, and sometimes immortality in some cases, at least for me.
    So, over-all, I really liked your poem, it had a lot of depth and meaning to it. Good write, peace...

    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem itself is pretty haunting, and I like that. The syntax of the poem bugged me, though. Nice write!

    ~ Stygian
    | Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by Stygian | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really clever!!!!
    I like how you showed life moves fast and when it is over our body just evaporates in the ground just like a dying rose
    Thank God our Soul moves on though
    You did a real good job with this
    I really thought you carried the theme well
    I dont usually like really dark writes but your creativity with this one really drew me in
    Greay Job
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-09-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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