The Rain -------------------------------------------
I loved the rain.
The way we sat in it,
letting it baptize our flesh;
washing us clean,
as we confessed to each other
our fears and darkest sins.
We sought repentance
in each others arms.
But now you're gone,
and God, how I hate the rain.
Oooh I like it... I looked at the title and was thinking, not the most interesting subject, nor is it the most interesting title... But then I read it, and I really do like it... a lot!! I love the flow, i love what it's about, and how it develops. Very nice ^_^
Agreed. Forced rhyme would ruin this. True artistry lies in knowing when rhyme and rhythm help you, and when to dispense with structure, or at least bend the rules. You have created a perfect snapshot of two moments in time, a double-exposure of before and after. Well done. <><
I liked it as is, with no rhyme,..it flows nicely and I liked the religious metaphor. Our beliefs and perspectives change after love has left, even if just temporarily, and I think this piece says just that. Thanks, silver
I like poems that don't force the rhyme. This is nice as is. I like the way you captured a beautiful moment that shows the importance of this individual to you and then capped it off with the last two lines. Nicely done.