Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribner
    Elite Ratio:    2.3 - 131/134/18
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1077
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 306



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I loved the rain.
    The way we sat in it,
    letting it baptize our flesh;
    washing us clean,
    as we confessed to each other
    our fears and darkest sins.
    We sought repentance
    in each others arms.
    But now you're gone,
    and God, how I hate the rain.




    Submitted on 2004-01-27 15:05:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Oooh I like it... I looked at the title and was thinking, not the most interesting subject, nor is it the most interesting title... But then I read it, and I really do like it... a lot!! I love the flow, i love what it's about, and how it develops. Very nice ^_^
    | Posted on 2006-12-06 00:00:00 | by Morilla | [ Reply to This ]
      This is amazing...beautiful and sad and so simple yet it says so much!
    It makes me want to sit out in the rain!
    I love the way your piece flows. Don't change it.

    Lisa
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Lisa-Marie | [ Reply to This ]
      Brilliant, I like the romantic ideal here and the rain washing away confessions is good. Good write, thanks for my comment by the way
    Liam
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by liamzamudio | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellant. I love transitions and that one was masterly done.
    | Posted on 2004-03-21 00:00:00 | by kjb | [ Reply to This ]
      a little polish, interesting word choice, nice vocabulary brightens the place up a bit
    | Posted on 2004-01-28 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      nice i love it since i've read it before lol i like your name too. but the poem itself is genius pure genius
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Agreed. Forced rhyme would ruin this. True artistry lies in knowing when rhyme and rhythm help you, and when to dispense with structure, or at least bend the rules. You have created a perfect snapshot of two moments in time, a double-exposure of before and after. Well done. <><
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      that was a pretty good poem, good idea but u should try rhyming more
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by AntiLife | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it as is, with no rhyme,..it flows nicely and I liked the religious metaphor. Our beliefs and perspectives change after love has left, even if just temporarily, and I think this piece says just that. Thanks, silver
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I like poems that don't force the rhyme. This is nice as is. I like the way you captured a beautiful moment that shows the importance of this individual to you and then capped it off with the last two lines. Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2004-01-27 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1187

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Cover written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry